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The Guardian - US
The Guardian - US
Lifestyle
Daniel Allen Cox

Life after shunning: what I faced after coming out as a queer Jehovah’s witness

WITNESS Stephen Witnesses Amanda Montell JW Jehovah Witness The Jehovah Witnesses Watchtower
‘Part of the difficulty of writing about a group that gaslights people is that you start to question your memories.’
‘Part of the difficulty of writing about a group that gaslights people is that you start to question your memories.’ Composite: The Guardian/Getty Images

The night the world ended, I was at a bowling alley in a strip mall in the suburbs of Montreal, throwing strikes with other Jehovah’s Witness friends. Wholesome activities were the only way we could cool our hot teenage blood. If we weren’t bowling, we were at chaperoned, alcohol-free basement parties or outings to the cinema to watch movies that didn’t contravene God’s laws.

This one summer night at the lanes, I made the mistake of calling another young man handsome. My friends heard me but didn’t say anything. For the Witnesses, to be queer is an abomination. I had hidden my queerness successfully for years, suffocating my desires and my identity so that I could have a chance to live forever on a paradise Earth.

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