A Leeds man stuck by his partner during her “frightening” five-year cancer journey after only dating her for a month.
Andrew Archer, 53, began dating Emily Barrass, 51, in July, 2018, and in the following month Emily told him she’d been diagnosed with cervical cancer. She told him to leave her and live his life, warning him of how tough the remainder of her life would become – but Andrew wasn’t having any of it.
He’d fallen in love with her and that was that. On that day, he made a promise to her. He promised to stick by her side to the very end.
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Andrew said: “I’d fallen in love with her, there’s no doubt about it. I wanted to be with her and I knew it was going to be a long journey.
“On many occasions, she said to me ‘You need to get away, this is not going to be easy’. I loved her and I promised her I would stick to her throughout, right to the end. I told her I was not going anywhere.”
Andrew, who works in a supermarket, has been described by Emily’s family as “an angel”, who doted on Emily ever since the terminal diagnosis. He stuck by Emily as the tumours grew and spread to her lungs, eventually to her liver and when she stopped being able to walk, he pushed her along in a wheelchair.
Emily, who worked as a sales assistant in an opticians, had three children, Ryan, Josh and Megan, all in their 20s, and five grandchildren, along with many more step-grandkids.
'Fearless'
The couple, based in Osmondthorpe, made a mission of using their borrowed time to make memories. They went on holidays together, paragliding in Cyprus and rollercoasters in Skegness – two experiences “fearless” Emily had to drag Andrew along to.
Andy became part the family and said he could not have asked for a friendlier set of people to become involved with.
Andrew said: “She loved the fact I was with her, she felt safe that I was with her and we wanted to make as many memories as we possibly could. We went on holidays. We went paragliding. It’s not for me, I’d rather go for a run, but she was very persistent! Then she got me on the roller-coasters. There was nothing she was scared off, she wanted to enjoy life.”
Emily’s middle-child Josh said: “He’s been like an angel to my mum. He’s probably one of the reasons she kept going for so long, to be honest. I see him as a second dad now.”
Andrew has also recounted the “frightening” moments, where Emily’s health declined severely and the chemotherapy caused her to have “horrendous” nose bleeds. There were times when she was in a lot of pain. She struggled to walk and ended up in wheelchair. Then some nights, she’s struggle with her breathing as he strength became weaker.
On her nose bleeding, Andrew said: “It wasn’t just a trickle, it was horrendous. One night she woke up and her pillow was absolutely soaking. There was blood everywhere.”
But through this all, Andrew said Emily kept fighting and didn’t let the illness get her down. He said: “Emily was very frightened and upset. But you know what, she just got on with it. She fought it from day one. Her attitude was that this was not going to beat her, under no circumstances.
“She got up every morning from the day she knew she had it with a smile on her face. All she was concerned about ‘What are the kids going to do once I’ve gone?’ She was selfless.”
Emily died on January 31, Andrew has launched a crowdfunder on Go Fund Me to raise money for St Gemma’s Hospice in Moortown after all the help they were provided. You can access that here.
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