As far as guilty pleasures go, I know I’m not alone in watching Friends reruns on repeat. It’s the perfect soothing thing to have on in the background when you’re pottering around the house, sorting out the washing, or when you have your actual friends over and just want a bit of noise, tuning in for the funnier bits.
Of the Central Perk six, Chandler was the self-appointed funny guy who often found himself in the friend zone - though, who can forget the time when he was the object of Janice’s affection and pretended to move to Yemen (in hindsight, the most odious form of ghosting).
Matthew Perry, the actor who played him, seemed to share some of his most famous role’s qualities - affable, warm, an all-round good egg. Until now, because in his new memoir Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing, he has taken a literary crossbow to the nicest man in Hollywood, and no one can fathom it - least of all me.
If you haven’t heard what’s happened, Perry uses his forthcoming book to slag off Keanu Reeves, slinging his name, grenade-like, into the mix, revealing some serious negative thoughts about The Matrix star. In an extract published online, he writes about how he felt when he heard about the death of River Phoenix, his co-star in his first-ever film A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon: “Why is it that original thinkers like River Phoenix and Heath Ledger die, but Keanu Reeves still walks among us?”. Wince. It’s even harsher when you consider the fact that Keanu and River were close pals.
Then he goes again when writing about actor Chris Farley’s drug overdose: “I punched a hole through Jennifer Aniston’s dressing room wall when I found out. Keanu Reeves walks among us.”
Naturally, the internet is up in arms, with just one question on everyone’s mind: what the hell is the man’s problem? Has something major gone down between Perry and Reeves, undetected until now by the showbiz rumour mill? There seems to be more one-sided beef between the two than in a Hawksmoor kitchen fridge.
For whatever reason, if Perry is trying to make the world choose between him and Reeves, he’s on the losing side of that ultimatum. The internet is awash with tales of all the nice things Reeves has done, from buying movie crew Harley-Davidson motorbikes as a thank-you for their hard work, to donating big money to charity and accepting pay cuts so that more money could be spent on film productions. He once bought an ice-cream to sign the receipt so that a waiting fan could have his autograph. How many Hollywood stars do you know who would think to do that?
Reeves’s generosity shines even brighter against the backdrop of his life; there are some truly heart-breaking events dotted along his personal timeline, from the birth of a stillborn daughter and the death of a girlfriend, to caring for his leukaemia-stricken sister who has, happily, since recovered. Then there was the death of River Phoenix in 1993, the best mate he loved like a brother, when they were both just 23. It’s enough to make anyone retreat inside themselves and close off the world, but Reeves has done the opposite, worked hard, and stayed humble. He even took those sad Keanu-eating-a-sandwich memes on the chin, setting the record straight in an interview with Stephen Colbert: “I’m just eating a sandwich, man!” He was hungry, not haunted.
This is who Keanu Reeves is. A warm spirit who brings joy and humility to life. I’d always want someone like him in the world and not people who talk shit. #Keanu 🥰 pic.twitter.com/91NLQHta2O
— Kody (@kody922) October 26, 2022
So, back to the burning question - what exactly is Perry’s problem? The actor has since backtracked on his words but, unless he’s planning to go around Tipexing the offending passages, his ill-thought-out words are going to haunt him for a long, long time. You can delete a tweet, but you can’t take back words printed in what will presumably amount to thousands of books. It’s a weird platform to air his grievances, if he actually has any.
“I just chose a random name”, Perry has offered feebly by way of explanation. Funny how the same name came up twice. Perhaps he picked on Reeves precisely because of his nice-guy reputation, believing he would be the least likely to retaliate. What Perry didn’t seem to consider was that the rest of the world would hit back on Reeves’s behalf. Is it jealousy, or is he actively trying to get himself cancelled?
I’m not sure what Perry can do to make amends (surely a televised showdown is being brainstormed on some network flipboard somewhere), but in what can sometimes be a nasty, heartless world, he would do well to remember the wise old saying, said best by Reeves himself: be excellent to each other.
