Kristi Noem’s husband, Bryon Noem, has pushed back on a report that he insulted his wife in phone calls and online messages with a dominatrix and expressed a desire to become a woman.
Bryon Noem told The Independent the claims in the report were “not all true.” He did not elaborate when asked for more information.
The 56-year-old was reported to have been in an on-off relationship online with Shy Sotomayor, a 30-year-old sex worker known as Raelynn Riley, since 2016, she claimed in an interview with the Daily Mail, published Friday.
It is the latest in a series of exposés on the husband of the recently ousted Homeland Security Secretary, who has been keeping a low profile since the story broke last week.
Sotomayor shared recordings of phone calls and screenshots of messages she said she exchanged with Bryon Noem, where he said she was “so much better” than his wife. He also expressed wanting to transition to become a woman, the messages showed.
In one recent message, the South Dakota insurance boss said he wanted to change his name to Crystal “so bad,” and that he wanted plastic surgery. “I want to be your trans bimbo b****,” the messages showed.
The outlet linked Bryon Noem’s telephone number to the messages with Sotomayor, and it also corresponded to an email address under the pseudonym “Chrystalballz666.”
The messages reportedly from Bryon Noem appear in stark contrast to Kristi Noem’s opposition to transgender rights. As South Dakota governor, she signed an exclusionary bill to ban surgical and non-surgical gender-affirming treatments for children in the state, and barred transgender girls and women from playing on women’s sports teams.
A representative for Kristi Noem did not immediately respond to a request for comment, but the former Homeland Security chief was said to be “blindsided” by reports about her husband in a statement last week.
The Noems have been married for nearly 34 years. Last week, the Mail reported that Byron Noem engaged in a “bimbofication” fetish and sent tens of thousands of dollars to women online, along with photos of him seeking a “Barbie doll”-like appearance, to various female models online.
Sotomayor, from Colorado Springs, is the second online model to go public about her interactions with Bryon Noem after Nicole Raccagno—whose Instagram name is “plastictrophybimbo”— previously told the Mail that he was in love with her.
Bryon Noem made similar declarations to Sotomayor, she said, and in one message told her, “I can see us leaving our spouses for each other.”
Sotomayor said she first connected with Bryon Noem in 2016 but he cut off contact “abruptly” in 2020, around the time that his wife was elected governor of South Dakota, where she ran on a platform of conservative Christian values.
She did not learn his true identity until they reconnected in October 2025, she said, where he “just popped back into my life like a little groundhog.”
Sotomayor said she started recording their conversations because she felt Bryon Noem was being “hypocritical.”
“I felt he was very hypocritical for standing ten toes on American family values while he was in my messages about wanting to be a trans bimbo b****,” she told the Mail.
While his wife was overseeing a federal immigration surge in Minnesota, Bryon Noem confided in Sotomayor: “I want to be a Crystal so bad,” he allegedly wrote on January 11. “I want to be a woman so bad.”
In between the death of Minneapolis mother Renee Good and ICU nurse Alex Pretti, Sotomayor said Bryon Noem told her he had to stop contact for a while and deal with “family stuff,” messages showed.
“Really bad at home. Really bad. I've got to go and figure me out. It's bad. Sorry and thank you,” he said in the message. “I've got to stop everything and focus on me,” he added, and said he was going to delete “all my stuff.”
“Is it because of everything going on right now with ICE?” Sotomayor asked.
“And life,” Bryon Noem replied.
On January 31, the model said she asked Bryon Noem how he could be with his wife in light of her aggressive immigration crackdown and that she was “unlikable.”
“I do like my wife and I know you don't,” he replied.
“She's a good person,” Bryon Noem reportedly said in defense of his wife. “You are amazing though,” he added, in reference to Sotomayor.
Sotomayor claimed she pressed the husband how he could be with his wife “after everything she’s done.”
“He urged her not to believe everything she reads in the news,” the Mail reported, adding that he mused having a phone call with Sotomayor that night.
“Can talk to you tonight, but I will regret it tomorrow,” he said. “Because I'm still with her.”
Kristi Noem was said to be barely showing up for her new role at the State Department after being ousted by President Donald Trump in March, the Mail reported Thursday.
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