Kourtney Kardashian Barker seems as happy and as at peace as she’s ever been, and, in a new interview with The Cut, we’re getting a glimpse into how she got there. Think getting a good night’s sleep, prioritizing your priorities—and, apparently, leaving almost everyone on read.
Kardashian Barker told the outlet that, when the interview was conducted, “I have 481 unread text messages right now,” she said. “I just recently started not touching my phone in the morning. I’m not on my phone at night, like when I put my kids to sleep. I’m not on my phone during meals, and I really try to leave my phone in the other room and just be present in everything that I’m doing.”
Kardashian Barker just gave birth for the fourth time late last year to baby Rocky, her son with husband Travis Barker; she is also mom to Mason, Penelope, and Reign from her long-term relationship with ex Scott Disick. (The Barkers also have three children from Barker’s previous marriage.) Add to that filming for her family’s Hulu show The Kardashians and her various business ventures (think Poosh and Lemme), and those unread texts pile up.
“I just hope people don’t take it personally that I’m not responding, but I do read most texts,” she told The Cut. “I just don’t usually reply. But there’s probably my top 20 people that I reply to. It’s my family and my kids and my top work people and friends. I don’t know, honestly, there’s no rhyme or reason. I can’t try to justify it.”
To drive home the point further, she added “I would say texting is not a priority, especially now. I have a newborn baby, I have four kids, three stepkids, my husband, like…I just am not texting.”
What are Kardashian Barker’s other “modern rules for survival,” as The Cut puts it? A good night’s sleep (neither she or Barker snores, she points out, and said “I think sleeping is one of my greatest skills”), saying “no” as much as possible, leaving the house only when necessary, getting outside and getting fresh air, and flossing. “It’s so important to know what makes you feel good,” she said.
Now, that’s not to say that Kardashian Barker never has down days, but, she said, “positive talk helps. I am a perfectionist, so when I get hard on myself, I try to think, ‘Create the life that you want.’ I’ll think that to myself all the time. Like, ‘Oh, you want to do this more? Just do it.’ I try to make time for the things that do make me feel good, like going on a walk. I make time for that pretty much every day.”
Kardashian Barker first became a mom 15 years ago this year (! How is this possible?), and said motherhood has shifted her priorities, as it is very much prone to do. “I just have to know what I want and what my priorities are,” she said. “For me, as a mother, since I had Mason [who was born in 2009], I’ve always had this strong, motherly instinct about the way I want to do things with my kids. It’s evolved over the years, like being able to say ‘no,’ as I said before. I also think recognizing what makes me feel good is important. Let’s say someone is asking me to do something, whether it’s a friend coming over or a business thing. If it didn’t feel good in the end, I’ll take a mental note that I need to protect my energy more. And then I’ll just take a break from those things.”
She’s in a good place now (and we’re glad about it), but it wasn’t always so peaceful. (Any viewer of her family’s former reality show, E!’s Keeping Up with the Kardashians, remembers.) She didn’t get married for the first time until she was entering her mid-40s. Sometimes life happens off of society’s timeline—but it doesn’t mean it’s not right on schedule. “I would say to trust in God’s plan for them and know everything along the way is to get you where you’re meant to be,” she said. “Try not to force anything just because you think you need to be at a certain place by a certain age.”
So, if we’re taking advice from the rulebook of Kardashian Barker—why not? She’s thriving—here’s the ultimate credo: “I make my own rules,” she said. “The rules come from knowing your priorities.”
And, 500 unread texts later, knowing what they’re not.
