Late-night hosts talked Donald Trump’s Truth Social rant about Jimmy Kimmel and his day off from the criminal hush-money trial in New York.
Jimmy Kimmel
Donald Trump had a day off from his criminal trial on Wednesday, “and how did he spend that?” Jimmy Kimmel, wondered. “Brunch with Melania? No. A catch with Barron in the yard? No, no. Rant-a Claus got up bright and early to post 165 venomous words about yours truly.”
The former president attacked Kimmel in a lengthy Truth Social post that reads, in full: “Stupid Jimmy Kimmel, who still hasn’t recovered from his horrendous performance and big ratings drop as Host of The Academy Awards, especially when he showed he suffered from TDS, commonly known as TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME, to the entire World by reading on air my TRUTH about how bad a job he was doing that night, right before he stumbled through announcing the biggest award of all, “Picture of the Year.” It was a CLASSIC CHOKE, one of the biggest ever in show business, and to top it off, he forgot to say the famous and mandatory line, “AND THE WINNER IS.” Instead he stammered around as he opened the envelope. Supposedly his wife, and even management, begged him not to do it, “DON’T READ HIS TRUTH, JIMMY, PLEASE DON’T DO THIS,” they said. He was made to look like a FOOL, which he is, and at the same time go down in Television History as the WORST HOST EVER OF THE ONCE VAUNTED ACADEMY AWARDS!”
The post was “not just wrong”, Kimmel retorted, “but ‘maybe we should be worried about him’ wrong. Like ‘maybe we should take the keys away from grandpa’ wrong.”
Kimmel did a line-by-line fact check, starting with the fact that ratings actually went up by 4% this year. As for “Trump Derangement Syndrome” – “now that is false”, he said. “There is only one person who suffers from Trump Derangement Syndrome, and his name is Donald Trump.”
Kimmel also took issue with Trump’s incorrect recollection that he presented the award for best picture, which was actually presented by Al Pacino. “I didn’t open the envelope,” he said. “I didn’t even touch the envelope. I did not present the award for best picture. I am not Al Pacino. Maybe you dreamed this during one of your courtroom siestas? I don’t know.
“This man, who was our president, is on trial with 34 criminal charges against him, and he’s still mad about the Oscars!” he marveled. “This was five weeks ago. My parents don’t even care any more! The only person still talking about this joke is him. It really must have gotten to him.
“I guess I should be honored that the former president of the United States took time out of his busy scheduling Googling Ivanka in a bikini to rant about me,” he concluded. “He must not get how much I love this. It doesn’t even add up – either Feeble Knievel doesn’t understand that Al Pacino and I are different guys, or he didn’t actually watch the Oscars he claimed to have hated so much.”
Stephen Colbert
And on the Late Show, Stephen Colbert recapped a tough day for the House speaker, Mike Johnson, as he faces a movement to oust him from the position from his own party. “They just got rid of the last guy six months ago,” he mused. “Republican speaker of the House has joined the list of least secure jobs, just below #2 leader of Isis, world’s oldest man and Rupert Murdoch fiancee.
“But Johnson’s not going down without a fight,” Colbert noted, as he appeared on Fox News on Sunday to assure viewers that he spent hours with Donald Trump and he’s “100% with me”.
“Well that settles it. Trump is 100% with him,” said Colbert. “Isn’t that right, sir?” As Trump told a reporter: “Well, we’ll see what happens with that.”
“That is a dose of classic Trump loyalty,” Colbert laughed. “He’s got your back so he can push you under a bus.”
With his short break from court, Trump used Truth Social “to stay laser-focused on the issues that voters care most about,” Colbert deadpanned, referring to his rant about Kimmel. “That’s right, in the middle of a presidential campaign, countless federal indictments, he’s obsessed with the Academy Awards from five weeks ago,” he said. “ I look forward to his new campaign slogan, Trump 2024: they gave it to Green Book?”
Colbert ultimately came to the defense of his fellow late-night host. “You keep my friend Jimmy Kimmel’s name out of your weird little wet mouth,” he said, before offering Trump an award for “outstanding achievement in syphilitic ramble in a social media post”.
