Kelsey Parker has shared the most surprising question her daughter has asked her about death and revealed the special connection she believes that both her children still share with their late dad Tom.
The Wanted singer passed away aged 33 in March, 2022, following a 14-month battle with stage 4 glioblastoma.
Determined to push forward for the sake of their two children, Aurelia, four, and two-year-old Bodhi, actress Kelsey, 33, has always been open and honest with them about Tom’s death and encouraged them to talk about it.
She told the Standard how during one such conversation, Aurelia asked something that really caught her off guard shortly after the death of Queen Elizabeth II.
Kelsey explained: “When the Queen died she was like ‘so mum, do you think the Queen and daddy are together in the sky?’ and I’m like, ‘they could be, who knows!’
“It definitely made her be able to deal with those conversations better and when we lost my grandad [eight months after Tom], she knew what death was.”
She believes that Tom is still “present” in their family home and has caused a few unexplained things to happen around the house.
“Toys in their bedrooms have like, gone off, but the toys have got Tom’s songs in them, and just (go off) through the night and I feel like the kids know that he’s present,” she said.
“Even if you don’t believe it, I think it’s a nice little thought to have that they are still here with us.”
Kelsey is now hoping to help others navigating grief by teaming up with Co-op in a bid to address the “elephant in the room” and enable more people to talk openly about death, which she feels a lot of people are “scared” to do.
“I think most people are so scared to die and the one thing that we are guaranteed in this lifetime is that we are going to die,” she explained.
“Me and Tom didn’t really have the conversation about death [or] funerals, and even when he got ill, we still didn’t have those conversations because we just wanted to remain as positive as possible.
“I think now what I’ve learnt from everything is we need to have those conversations, we need to be honest and open.
“So when you do pass over, your loved ones aren’t then going ‘oh, what do we do?’ And have that little savings pot for your funeral!”
Throughout Tom’s battle and following his death, Kelsey has shared her journey with her followers online.
Later this week, she will release her debut memoir, With and Without You, documenting the past 18 months since losing her husband and the person she calls her “soulmate”.
Describing putting pen to paper as “therapy”, she said: “I think for me writing the book has had that realisation that this is my life, this is what I’ve lived through and it shows how strong and positive you can be when life throws cards at you that are really, really c**p.”
Looking to the future, she says she’s “hoping” for a follow-up of her NTA nominated docu-series Life After Tom, but her main goal is “just live for today”.
“[Losing Tom] has taught me that we’re not promised tomorrow so live for today and seize the moment that you’re in and enjoy every opportunity.”
