John Barnes has recalled the pain of the Hillsborough tragedy on an episode of ITV's Life Stories.
The Liverpool FC legend is the first guest to be interviewed on the show since Kate Garraway took over the reins as host.
The 58-year-old gives an insight into the highs and lows of his illustrious career across the 60-minute interview.
READ MORE: Hillsborough campaigner Anne Williams' heroic life and relentless fight for justice
Barnes was playing in the FA Cup semi-final on April 15, 1989 when 97 Liverpool fans were unlawfully killed - and he opened up on how it is still hard to look back on the events of the tragic day.
He said it wasn't until fans began to come onto the pitch, and the players were taken back into the changing rooms that the teams realised something was wrong.
Barnes said the players stayed in the changing room warming up for 15 minutes as they had been told they would go back on to play. But after 20 minutes it was clear something terrible had happened.
He added: “We got changed, had a shower, got our suits on then went up into the Players Lounge, and that’s when from the Players Lounge you can see out onto the pitch and that’s when I first realised how terrible it was.
“We saw bodies and people on stretchers and stuff like that. It was just like complete shock.
“You see the little kids and you think about your children. That’s the first thing I thought.
“And then of course, the irrational guilt, you know, feeling that they’ve come to watch me play they’re not going home.”
Barnes said the team were in shock on the coach back from the tragedy, before he spent the night holding his son.
He said: “There were tears but mainly silence (on the coach home), I really just felt for them because I know you’ve lost a loved one or you can’t find somebody and what are you going through, and we are looked after.”
Barnes then got home to his son Jamie and recalled: “I just got in bed with him and hugged them. Just calling him and thinking thank God that he’s here with me. Slept with him all night I think.”
John’s mum Jeanne also told the programme he was deeply affected by the tragedy and attending the funerals of those that died.
She said: “Johnny phoned us and he was crying. He was like ‘why is this happening it could have been Jamie’, Jamie his son, might have been at the match. He said, You know mummy, they died coming to see me and Liverpool play. He just couldn’t fathom it. Why did this have to happen?.”
During the interview, Barnes also tells the story of his rise to stardom in the 1980s as a footballer for Watford, Liverpool and England.
The former footballer was the target of racist abuse during his playing career and spoke about the fight against racism during the interview.
He said: “That picture of me backheeling the banana off (the pitch) I don’t even remember because it would happen whenever we played anywhere, bananas were on the field.
“But I didn’t endure the everyday reality of the experience. I had it on a Saturday, but then on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday any restaurant I wanted to go to I could.
“Whereas the everyday experience of the average black person, this is something that happens to them everyday in their lives. And no one’s talking about that.
“And here we are 30 years later, still talking about the elite rather than talking about what’s going on in the inner cities with education, crime, housing. No one is saying anything.
“But they are being abused, invisible banana skins and unspoken racist abuse to black people every single day of their lives.”
* Kate Garraway’s Life Stories airs tonight (Thursday) at 9pm on ITV and ITV Hub
Receive newsletters with the latest news, sport and what's on updates from the Liverpool ECHO by signing up here
