Kate Ferdinand has detailed how she feels "alone and guilty" on Mother's Day as she struggles to celebrate when her step-children have suffered "such a deep loss".
The former TOWIE star, 30, described her first Mother's Day last year as the "toughest to date" as, while she wanted to mark welcoming son Cree, 15 months, with husband Rio Ferdinand, 43, she felt she couldn't because Tate, 13, Lorenz, 15, and Tia, 10, are grieving the loss of their mum Rebecca Ellison.
Rebecca tragically passed away aged 34 in May 2015 after a short battle with breast cancer and the family have made it a tradition to visit her grave on the day to pay tribute.
Speaking in the first episode of her Blended podcast, Kate said: "Mother's Day for most people is usually a day that we celebrate the women that shaped us.
"But unfortunately that is just not the case for everyone. For me personally Mother's Day is a day that I struggle with.
"I'm fortunate to have three amazing step children and my biological son Cree, but sadly my stepchildren lost their mum at a young age and also my husband has lost his mum."
Rio's mother Janice died in 2017 aged 58 after battling cancer, leaving the former footballer heartbroken.
Kate said she "really, really struggled" with the celebratory day even before she was a biological parent due to the family's tragic loss and "somehow I thought it would be easier when I had Cree but actually last year was probably the toughest Mother's Day to date".
"It's a strange feeling the world is celebrating this day and there is a real big loss in my house but also it was my first Mother's Day - a day in another life that I would really look forward to, but here I am surrounded by my family", the reality star continued.
"How can I have the audacity to celebrate myself when all my family have had such a deep loss?
"I felt really alone and quite isolated. I didn't know anyone in a similar situation or going through the same sort of thing as me."
Back in 2020, the family documented Mother's Day in their BBC documentary Kate And Rio: Becoming A Stepfamily.
She told the camera: "It's Mother’s Day this weekend. The children write cards to their mum and their nan.
"We laminate them so that when they're at the cemetery they can last longer rather than getting wet and damaged.
"I always write a message from me because after all, I'm looking after and bringing up her children with Rio."
Later in the documentary, Kate joined Tate, Lorenz and Tia as they visited their mother's last resting place and hugged them as they grieved.
Now, Kate has launched her own podcast documenting her experiences of being a blended family in the hope it will help others who are going through similar situations and the "unique set of challenges" it brings.
