On Monday in Pasadena, Calif., the Michigan Wolverines will trade haymakers with Alabama but get TKO’d in the bitter end. Seven nights later in Houston, the Crimson Tide will get their revenge against Texas, the only team to roll them this season. Beat Nick Saban twice? Please.
Watching the national championship game with his feet up will be Bears coach Matt Eberflus, who survived the NFL’s Black Monday a day after — holy Havarti! — winning the season finale against the Packers at Lambeau Field. Bring back everybody? It just might happen.
On Feb. 2, Blackhawks rookie Connor Bedard, in Toronto for his first All-Star Game, will have all eyes on him as he participates in the revamped skills competition. A different Connor — the Oilers’ McDavid — will win the $1 million first prize, but Bedard will have no regrets after lighting the lamp the next day in the big game.
Will the Bulls pull off a Zach LaVine trade by the deadline? And who will win NFL MVP? Those questions might not seem related, but on Feb. 8 the answers will be no and — for the second time — Ravens quarterback Lamar Jackson.
Any chance Jackson wins the Super Bowl, too? Yep, on Feb. 11 against the 49ers in Las Vegas, becoming the 12th player — including Patrick Mahomes just last season — to pull off that dazzling-double feat.
Any Bulls All-Stars in the house on Feb. 18 in Indianapolis? That’s a negative.
Any of our college teams in the Selection Sunday mix on March 17? Yes, Northwestern will make it back-to-back Big Dances for the first time in school history. Illinois might get there, too, but as an easy first-round out if Terrence Shannon Jr. remains off the team.
On April 7 in Cleveland, LSU’s women’s basketball team — its act together again after kind of a strange season — will repeat as national champs. On April 8 in Phoenix, UConn’s men’s team will do the same. How rare is it to have two repeats in the same season? So rare, it’s never happened before.
What’s with all the predictions, anyway? Well, it’s that time of year again. You might regard 2024 as a blank sports slate. I see it as 365 chances to be right about something. Frankly, being wrong has its moments, too. Either way: If having 2024 vision is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Same goes for some of you, judging by the responses on social media when I invited followers to make their predictions for 2024.
“The Bears will trade Justin Fields and draft Caleb Williams,” wrote Scott, “and Williams will hold out and never play a down for the Bears.”
Now that’s the voice of a seasoned Chicagoan.
“DePaul will fire [men’s basketball coach] Tony Stubblefield,” @BlueDemonDegen offered.
“The Cubs will sign Cody Bellinger, Clayton Kershaw, Matt Chapman and Josh Hader,” @Ericslosingit predicted.
What, Babe Ruth isn’t available?
And from @theologyguy, “The White Sox will lose 100-plus games for the second year in a row, with Pedro Grifol keeping his job all season.”
We can always count on Sox fans for a little sunshine, can’t we?
But let’s move along. On April 14, the Bulls will lose to the Knicks in the regular-season finale. Only one of these teams will be going to the playoffs, and you don’t need me to tell you which one it isn’t.
The NFL draft begins April 25 in Detroit, and you probably want to know what the Bears are going to do with the No. 1 overall pick. Fine, I’ll tell you: Nothing. That’s because they won’t have it anymore. One wonders if Marvin Harrison Jr. takes his Italian beef dry, wet or dipped.
On May 15, the Sky begin Season 1 under coach Teresa Weatherspoon with a game in Dallas. Yada yada, it’s still a rebuild.
On May 27, Craig Counsell returns to Milwaukee for the first time as Cubs manager. Are those boos or “Screw youuuuus”?
And on June 4, the Sox and Cubs lock horns for the first time at Wrigley Field. No matter the records, we all love to pretend there’s no love lost between these make-believe rivals.
Remember when the Rangers won the Stanley Cup in 1994, ending that epic drought? Goodness, that was 30 years ago already. Another pretty long drought ends — with the Kings on the losing end — in mid-June. Roughly one week after that, the Bucks dethrone the Nuggets as Giannis Antetokounmpo shows Nikola Jokic and the world who’s the real MVP. This time, anyway.
On July 7, NASCAR’s Cup Series will race around Grant Park and New Zealander Shane van Gisbergen will take the checkered flag once again, then wait an hour and a half for a table outside Au Cheval while, still, nobody recognizes him.
On July 16 in Arlington, Texas, Bellinger will play in the MLB All-Star Game, but will he be there as a Cub? Look, some things are harder to predict than others. Fine: Yes.
On July 17, Bedard will turn 19. There’s got to be some peach fuzz in there somewhere.
The opening ceremonies of the Paris Olympics are July 26. Two weeks into the Summer Games, we’ll witness the hilariously odd debut of the (ahem) sport of breaking, or breakdancing. If only it came 40 years earlier, your cousin Earl, who still does the Centipede at weddings, could have been a star.
Let’s speed up. On Sept. 21, Northwestern has a football date at Washington. Five Saturdays later, Illinois is at Oregon. Good lord, this expanded, division-less Big Ten is going to be a bear to play in.
On Sept. 29, the Cubs will end the regular season against the Reds at Wrigley. Wait ’til next year? No, there will be more baseball — though not enough of it — on the North Side. The World Series will end Nov. 2 with the Braves and Yankees fighting in a classic Game 7 and Dodgers fans still in a collective stupor wondering what in the hell went wrong.
Finally, there’s the Dec. 20 arrival of the first 12-team College Football Playoff. I’d tell you who’s going to win the thing, but why spoil the fun?
