England’s hotel in Pune, host city for Wednesday’s exercise in sporting nihilism against the Netherlands, comes equipped with a spa, grooming salon, outdoor pool, gym, three bars, three restaurants, delicatessen, a selection of ballrooms, a massage parlour and, among many other advertised treatments, a bespoke male full-body waxing facility.
With any luck Jos Buttler, who has looked progressively more drained through this open casket procession of a World Cup defence, was persuaded to undertake a high-speed pitstop through every single one of these wellbeing facilities during England’s day off on Monday.
