A Johnstone councillor who lost two family members during the pandemic is encouraging people to reach out for help if they are struggling with poor mental health.
Andy Steel has revealed how his struggle to process the loss of his mum and uncle while the country was under lockdown last year led to him feeling depressed to the point where he sometimes didn't want to leave the house or couldn't face eating.
But after finding a way to battle through the turmoil, the 51-year-old SNP elected member has felt compelled to share his story in the hope it brings comfort to others in the same boat and pushes them to speak up.
Andy's mum Elizabeth died suddenly last March aged 80 after being diagnosed with late-stage throat cancer just two months earlier, while his uncle George passed away from a longer-term degenerative illness later in the year aged 85.
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With the country under severe restrictions at the start of last year as Coronavirus cases rocketed during the winter, Andy found the sting of grief much more painful as usual coping mechanisms like meeting up with friends were not an option.
"It's been two years of relentless bad news and anything that comes along that would ordinarily hit you a bit just hits you that much harder," said Andy, who lives in Spateston with his wife and two sons.
"I really struggled to process bereavement when my mother and uncle passed away.
"There have been times I have felt very depressed and down and like it’s never going to end.
"During my mum's illness, physical contact was severely limited. After it, it was things like the funeral service which were very hard. There were only 20 people there and normally the place would've been full.
"Just talking to people afterwards and processing it is what you would normally do and that was not available for people.
"I got to see my mum every other day for an hour but I couldn’t even touch her so it wasn’t much consolation.
"I had to wear a mask and medical gloves and all you want to do is just give your loved one a hug. It just felt clinical, but it had to be done for very understandable reasons.
"There was no good way for anyone to do anything. I felt completely helpless."
In the immediate aftermath of his mum's death, Andy admitted the brighter summer days allowed him to keep some of the tougher emotions at bay with walking and cycling.
But when the dark of winter arrived, they were ready in waiting to rear their heads again as he spent more time inside his own house and, with that, his own mind.
He added: "I never got to the stage where I thought there was no point in going on or anything, but I was struggling to function as normal which brings with it feelings of guilt, because I'm supposed to be available, in personal terms, to my family and, in professional terms, to my constituents.
"I didn’t want to get out of bed sometimes. There’s no way in the job I’m doing that I wouldn’t leave the house but, at the very bottom, I don’t think I really wanted to.
"I was struggling with eating as well sometimes and that was an indicator for me I was not processing things correctly.
"You don’t notice feeling down so much in the spring and summer because your outdoor opportunities are so much greater. But as soon as you get into the post-October period you spend a lot more time in the house and that’s thinking time."
Now that restrictions are starting to lift again after another torrid winter with the surge in the Omicron variant, Andy is hoping he can encourage others who have faced stormy seas to exercise and talk, even if it feels like a mammoth effort to get out the door or pick up the phone.
And he has urged people to limit their time on social media, which he found drove him to distraction when he had bigger fish to fry.
"I thought now is a good time to say, if you’ve been in my position, don’t think it’s always going to be like this because it can pick up and there things which you can do to help," said Andy.
"Walking has helped me so much. I knew I couldn't really cycle in January as much because it's wet and dark but I could go for a 2km walk, from one of the Johnstone schemes down to the town centre, pick up a few bits and pieces, support the town centre while I'm at it and come back.
"And if you can do something like that by the time the good weather comes you’ll be like a dug scratching at the door to get out hopefully and you’ll be able to go out for much longer walks.
"Walking, and cycling in the better weather, are my absolute saviours along with gardening. If you can get out the door for a walk round to the shops, anything at all, or over to see your pal now we’re allowed to, just do it.
"And I say severely limit your social media because it doesn’t do anyone any good at all.
"Focus on what really matters like seeing your friends and family and maybe don't worry so much about what people are putting on social media or what the latest announcement is.
"You’ve got a finite capacity for coping with what the world throws at you and if you try and take everything on, you’re going to lose. Narrow it down."
If you're going through a tough time, there are services in Renfrewshire and across Scotland you can call for support.
Recovery Across Mental Health, based in Paisley, can be reached on 0141 847 8900, Breathing Space can be contacted on 0800 83 85 87 and people can call Samaritans on 24/7 on 116 123.
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