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Liverpool Echo
Liverpool Echo
National
Dan Haygarth

John Lewis advert shows how foster carers can 'make a difference'

A foster carer said the John Lewis Christmas advert captures the nerves felt by carers and children in care.

Phil Watson, 52, and his wife have been foster carers since 2010. Phil now recruits foster carers and promotes fostering for Liverpool City Council.

He spoke to the ECHO after John Lewis released its Christmas advert. This year's advert shows a middle-aged man learning to skateboard before a foster child arrives at his home.

READ MORE: John Lewis advert 'good place to start' but Liverpool 'needs more foster carers'

Called 'The Beginner', the advert aims to tell the story of foster carers and children in the care system. Phil told the ECHO was a "good place to start" in promoting fostering and addressing a lack of foster carers nationwide.

He thinks the advert captures the nerves felt by foster carers accurately and it reminded me of when a three-year-old boy arrived at his Mossley Hill home with a "very limited experience of life".

He said: "When a child arrives, you're nervous but you're never as nervous as that child is going to be. Sometimes that nervousness might be reticence - the child might be extremely quiet or quite introverted, or they might be almost aggressive, but all it is is fear. It’s the manifestation of fear.

"We got a few days’ notice and were told that we had a little boy arriving, he was three-and-a-half. We were told he was potty trained. Being a bit naïve, we thought that was great.

"We went out and bought a Peppa Pig cutlery and crockery set. He was dropped off with his bag - our kids were a little bit older than him but they told him to come and watch TV.

"My daughter came back to say to us ‘he doesn’t recognise any TV channels or programmes’. The little boy then came into the kitchen.

"We laid the table and got his Peppa Pig bowl and spoon. We told him ‘this is your chair and we’re having spaghetti bolognese’. We thought he’s three-and-a-half, he’ll like that’. All he did was stare at the floor, we couldn't engage him.

"We ate our tea and thought ‘what are we going to do?’. The funny thing about fostering is that there’s no handbook or rulebook, there’s no YouTube clip you can go on. You’re trained but you don't know what to do in every situation.

"As we were tidying up, this little boy came into the kitchen and stared at the floor. We weren’t sure what to do.

"As we were washing up, he suddenly moved and we turned around. He’d gone into the fridge, had taken out a full bottle of milk, he’d bitten the lid off, pulled the foil off with his teeth and he glugged it down.

"He was drinking it but it was going all over his clothes and on the floor. We were flabbergasted.

"Our son just came into the kitchen, saw what was going on, took a cup out of the cupboard and took the milk, then poured it into the cup. He showed him how to drink from the cup and handed it back to him.

"The little boy copied him, some of the milk still went down his front, but eventually our son had taught him how to use a cup.

"We began to realise that this child had no idea about tables and chairs, no idea about TV, bowls, spoons or spaghetti bolognese. He didn't really know what a bed was, what a duvet was, he tried to sleep under his coat.

"He didn't realise about hot running water or a bath. We began to realise that he had a very limited experience of life. But we took him to the park, into town, into shops - all sorts of normal things.

"Within a month, he loved having a bath, he would use a whole bottle of bubble bath, he started watching Tom and Jerry and his favourite food became the tinned beans and sausages in a bowl with broccoli.

"It only took a month of very regular stuff to turn this kid from a vocabulary to 100 words, with a favourite TV show, favourite food, he understood about bed time and getting up. He got into the rhythm of family life."

Phil said this shows how rewarding foster caring can be and the impact that carers have on children, whose lives may have proved difficult up to that point. He said: "As a foster carer, you don't really notice the difference you're making, because it's every day.

"But he was a lovely, engaging, charming little boy. We had him for about 18 months and when you foster, there are difficult times - sometimes he was very scared and he didn't have enough words to express his feelings, but you do make a difference to the lives of the children that you look after."

When Phil spoke to the ECHO, he said that there were over 1500 children in care in Liverpool, but considerably fewer foster carers. He said: " When you hear on the news about drugs, violence and crime, very often there are children involved in that story and for some period of time they might need to go into foster care."

He said foster carers can " make the worst days for these kids less tough". He explained: "Can you imagine being five and going to live with strangers with absolutely nothing? With no memories, with nothing to make you feel safe, no teddy?

"You just think that's an awful thing for someone to go through. As a foster carer, your role is to keep that kid safe and make them feel safe. Then you can begin the process of helping them navigate all that life entails."

He told the ECHO that Liverpool and the UK both need more foster carers, saying: "There are not enough foster carers across the country. There are something like 108,000 children in care - that's more than enough to fill Anfield and Goodison.

"For most children in care, the social workers will try to find family or friends to look after them. There are tons of grandmas, aunts and uncles doing a great job, but if there is no family then they go into mainstream foster care and there is a national shortage of mainstream foster carers.

"Unfortunately the number of children in care is going up and up and up. As long as you're 21 - and ideally have a spare room, you can help."

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