COMEDIAN Joe Lycett has sent a tongue-in-cheek open letter to Home Secretary Suella Braverman offering to help her "weed out" fake gays in the UK asylum system.
Following Braverman's claims that asylum seekers pretend to be gay to get special treatment, campaigners criticised her for “dangerous, inflammatory and racist” phrasing.
And now, Lycett has gotten in on the act.
Star of "Joe Lycett's Got Your Back", the Brummie comedian is known for his consumer-based comedy and holding the powers that be to account.
He famously "endorsed" Liz Truss whilst declaring himself "very right wing" on the BBC last year.
FAO @SuellaBraverman pic.twitter.com/y4JzmmDw4q
— Joe Lycett (@joelycett) October 4, 2023
Now it seems he has a new target, the Home Secretary. He asked Braverman to join his band of "Homo Hunters" to root out asylum seekers pretending to be gay.
Just 1.5% of asylum claims last year referenced sexuality. Yet Braverman insists there are “many instances” where people purport to be gay to receive preferential treatment in asylum applications.
The situation is not “fair” or “right”, she told ITV on Wednesday.
Being gay is punishable by death in 11 countries. LGBT+ people are criminalised in a further 53.
Joe Lycett's letter in full
The following may contain rude phrases or explicit wording:
"Dear Home Secretary,
"I am contacting you on an urgent matter as I was very interested to read your claim that asylum seekers are attempting to abuse the immigration system by pretending to be gays (sometimes known as b**** boys). I too am disgusted by men pretending to be gay and think we should weed out this scourge from our society. I know for example that Alan Carr is actually married to a foul woman called Sandra, and that Rylan does triathlons.
"Like you, I believe in bold and radical change, and also that sometimes you just have to stamp on a dog. I have devised a plan that will eradicate all those fake sausage-noshers and massively reduce successful asylum applicants. All immigrants will be excluded from the United Kingdom UNLESS they can prove that they are gay (to me). With my newly registered company Homo Hunters, I will spearhead this project to reduce the bombardment of immigrants and enmesh our island with foreign homosexuals.
"This project is both a business and personal venture for me. I know full well that aside from unimportant contracts like PPE procurement and making classroom roof beams out of mint chocolate Aeros the government expects the companies they work with to have long-term, actual experience in their field. I have been investigating fake gays for years, in real life but mainly on Instagram. A Moss Bros suit doesn't get past me. Nor does an e**** c***!
"The full ass-essement criteria I will use is trademarked but I am happy to disclose one tactic in this letter. Applicants will be escorted into a room with three tables. On the first table is a Lady Gaga CD, on the second table is a fleece from M&S Blue Harbour and on the third table is a naked t**** called Carlos (or Steve). If the applicant tries to have sex with any of these things, they will be determined gay and warmly welcomed into the country. If they attempt to wear the M&S Blue Harbour fleece, mention crypto, VPNs or MMA, they will be inhumanely destroyed.
"I am in awe of you, your work and your gall. Naysayers might froth that as a child of immigrants, it seems strange that you would want to clamp down so ferociously on immigration, but I disagree with those woke likely-n*****: just because you or your family have benefitted from a system doesn't mean that system should not be smashed to bits. For example, I am vehemently against people pretending to be gay simply to achieve a better life, despite that being exactly what I did to progress in show business."
Lycett was subsequently inundated with responses online.
"You are a hero, you are a legend, you are (ho)moment," said one user.
Another adored the letter: "I cannot express just how much I adore this. Genius. You're wonderful. Padam padam."
Someone else commented: "You're rapidly approaching National Treasure status".
