There have been many jobs Scott Morrison has distanced himself from during his tenure in parliament, from being an ethical theologian to holding a hose.
By his final days as prime minister, “It’s not my job” had become a running catchphrase.
Covid restrictions of states and territories? “It’s not my job to go around second-guessing other people’s decisions.” The Capitol riots? “Disappointing”, but also, not his job to be “providing lectures”.
What’s now become patently clear is Morrison didn’t have time to indulge the press gallery on hypotheticals because he was, at the same time, working a whole string of jobs behind the scenes.
All those times Morrison said it wasn't his job — it turns out it was actually his jobs.
— Dan Ilic 🚠 (@danilic) August 14, 2022
Anthony Albanese has confirmed Morrison was appointed to five additional portfolios under section 64 of the constitution during the pandemic, including the departments of health, finance, home affairs, treasury, and industry, science, energy and resources.
The revelations of his extraordinary ministerial powers have delighted the internet, bringing a new meaning to Morrison’s near-constant use of the word “job”.
WHO warns of new pandemic after 5 new variants of Scott Morrison were detected over the weekend
— The Chaser (@chaser) August 15, 2022
When you’re running your own secret ministry, who has time to stay and chat specifics?
Jesus was a carpenter
— Pup Fiction (@jjjove) August 14, 2022
Scott was a DIY cabinet maker#auspol pic.twitter.com/tnfIk08wlH
It’s much easier to just repeat the word “job”, or ruminate on the heady thrills of the concept of employment (“how good are jobs”, “jobs and growth” and so on).
When you’ve signed yourself up for six roles, nobody can deny that the man loves jobs.
hashtag datajournalism pic.twitter.com/QiX3A4RvMr
— Nick Evershed (@NickEvershed) August 16, 2022
At a time when many of us were shuttered up at home, relying on jobkeeper and baking bread, Morrison was out there, a “stealth bulldozer”, secretly wearing several different employment hats, while still finding time to regularly cook apparently raw curry.
Scott Morrison doing four different jobs during the pandemic. pic.twitter.com/8Y4MWoAJF6
— Rick Morton (@SquigglyRick) August 14, 2022
It’s all a bit confusing – but given these were appointments made due to the extraordinary circumstances of the pandemic, maybe laying the information out in a more appropriate format will help.
We thought this might help keep track of everything pic.twitter.com/o32Z6dwZM3
— The Shovel (@TheShovel) August 16, 2022
Incredible!
As dictionary expert David Astle has suggested, we may need to change Morrison’s pronouns to “they/them” in light of his expansive portfolios.
Scott Morrison - they/them
— David Astle (@dontattempt) August 15, 2022
As the cabinet portfolios Morrison co-appointed himself to continue to emerge, it’s a wonder he managed to keep up with international relations.
It's now clear there were several other people in this photo. pic.twitter.com/uiHOJ0AGWs
— Mark Humphries (@markhumphries) August 16, 2022
As for keeping abreast of the numerous roles, who among us can’t recall what ministries we swore ourselves into without telling the public or, in some cases, the minister themselves during a global pandemic?
That’s just “day-to-day politics” – coincidentally another thing that hasn’t been Morrison’s job to engage with since leaving the top role, despite still being employed as a member of parliament.
If Scott Morrison isn't doing "day to day politics" while earning $210K as a politician, what's he doing? Special event politics? Off-season politics? Politics Mon-Wed lunchtime?
— Bernard Keane (@BernardKeane) August 15, 2022
At this point, Morrison’s CV is getting so thick it may need its own book, or film (directed, of course, by Morrison himself, starring Morrison, written by Morrison, and so on).
From the makers of Being John Malkovich comes a new hilarious farce pic.twitter.com/On6z5dAQpl
— The Chaser (@chaser) August 15, 2022
So what can we learn from this whole charade?
In this country, according to the man himself: “If you have a go, you get a go. There is a fair go for those who have a go.”
The “fair” part may be presently up for debate, but one thing is certain: if you fail at your job, whether it be one, two or six – well, that’s on you, too.
So you’re telling me we had a botched vaccine rollout and no RATs despite apparently having two health ministers?
— Mark Humphries (@markhumphries) August 14, 2022
And others suggest a final fitting end to Morrison’s multiple ministry tour …
Oh God, it’s Scott Morrison isn’t it? pic.twitter.com/Ff1ra6nnAK
— David Sharaz (@SharazDavid) August 14, 2022
