“Dìdi,” (a term of endearment meaning younger brother) is what Chungsing Wang (Joan Chen) calls her son (Izaac Wang), but this Taiwanese teenager in Freemont, Calif., prefers his American name, Chris. This is one of the many conflicts Chris has with his mom, who embarrasses him in front of his friends or nags him about studying — especially since her friends’ kids are overachieving.
Writer/director Sean Wang’s debut feature “Dìdi,” based on his own life, is mostly Chris’ story. Set in 2008, the film amuses as it depicts the 13-year-old hanging out with his friends, chatting online, fumbling in his efforts to kiss his attractive classmate Madi (Mahaela Park) and filming skaters over the course of a summer. But it is the mother/son drama that provides “Dìdi” – which won the Sundance Film Festival Audience Award – with its big emotions.
Chungsing means well and doing her best, which is not easy. She is a de facto single mother given that her husband is working overseas. Her household is chaotic, with Chris fighting with his older sister, Vivian (Shirley Chen), who is going off to college in the fall, and Chungsing fighting with her mother-in-law Nǎi Nai (Zhang Li Hua; director Sean Wang’s grandmother).
Joan Chen imbues Chungsing with a poignancy that is affecting. She is a woman who dreams of being a painter but has to settle for “an ordinary life.” It may be that she is taking her own frustrations out on her children as she wants them to achieve, but she does not have much of a support system. She is not aware of how her well-meaning efforts to help her kids may be alienating them.
It is wonderful to see Chen, who makes films in Asia and America, in “Dìdi.” The Chinese actress has had a remarkable career, which includes playing the wife of the title character in the Oscar-winning epic “The Last Emperor,” followed by portraying Jocelyn Packard in David Lynch’s cult series “Twin Peaks,” and directing films including “Xiu Xiu: The Sent-Down Girl,” and “Autumn in New York.” Chen talked with Salon about playing Chungsing and the power of being a mother.
What do you recall about being a teenager?
My teen years were so different from any teenagers here. I grew up [in China] in a very restrictive environment during the Cultural Revolution and in material poverty in a way. Most of the time I was thinking about food. I’m sure there was the same kind of desire to fit in and be liked. I remember wanting to join the Youth League to be a better Revolutionary than anyone else. Then at 14, I started to appear in films. So, I never had the chance to rebel. It was not something that we did at that time; it just wasn’t doable.
I did later direct a coming-of-age film, “Xiu Xiu: The Sent Down Girl,” but that was completely different to any other coming-of-age story. That different upbringing and growing up with such a narrow horizon — then to immigrate to the United States — that life experience did inform my role in “Didi” somewhat. That is where I came from and I am trying to raise two children, like in the film.
Chungsing has a very moving speech at the end of “Dìdi.” It helps Chris see his mom in a different light. What do you recall about your relationship with your children?
My children were teens not too long ago. We had a lot of fraught times, and misunderstandings, and a lot of drama, definitely. I feel I didn’t know what the right thing to do was. I wanted to be a good mother, but I made mistakes. I felt like I was hurting the ones I most love and least want to hurt. Being an immigrant, you are often not sure of the ground you stand on and you really don’t know how to raise two American children. I went through that struggle myself. Sean [Wang]’s mom took it all in with more forbearance and patience and resilience than I did. Performing this character gave me the chance to do it again. My younger daughter was with me throughout the shoot and helped out on set. That was memorable for me because of that. She was with me, at the monitor, and saw the feelings that poured out of me. That was partially to redeem myself. It felt so cathartic for me and helped her understand that her mother did want to do the best for her. That was a great opportunity for me to do that.
Chungsing wants the best for her kids and tries her best, but she isn’t always effective. Her nagging does not inspire Didi. She annoys or embarrasses him. What did you think about Chungsing’s parenting and her relationship with her son?
Every scene expresses a different facet of her life. She is taking care of the family singlehandedly, caring for old and young. She is stuck in two worlds, being a “bad” daughter-in-law, and with two children who fight and rebel. Their world is so strange to her. Chungsing wants to be a good mother but feels she is failing in it. She is trying her best. And she is trying to fulfill herself as an artist [painter]. This is typical of so many immigrant mothers.
Do you think Chungsing is a good mother?
I think she is. Chris has a realization that she is there for him. But what is a good mother?
That is really my question: what is a good mother? Every mother makes mistakes — except mine, I will have to say on the record.
You are so sweet! [Laughs] It is extremely hard to give your children freedom, and to protect them, give them discipline, and safety and enough thrills in life. It is not easy. You are forever burdened with the expectation that this person who came through you should blossom into something. You have an expectation that they should somehow change the world and make a difference. You are weighed down by this hope for the rest of your life. In my mother’s last stage, I was 60, and she was still looking at me for improvement. That is a law of nature. What is a good mother? It’s not an easy job.
“Dìdi” deals with the model minority issues Asian Americans face. What observations or experiences do you have with this perception?
Chungsing is like many Asian mothers that I know. Not all are helicopter moms or tiger moms. That is stereotypical. She represents a lot of Asian moms whose children are their dreams. Oftentimes, people immigrated for their children. Not that they wanted to be more successful in the United States, but because they imagined and envisioned a broader horizon for their children.
As a mother, Sean’s mom was really wise and patient. She let her son come into his own. I had a little more fear. I made decisions based on fear and misunderstanding. I do recognize your children are more important than anything else. They are the roots you put down in this strange land. They make you American. Otherwise, you never feel that you are American even though you immigrated and have an American passport.
She was on the set every day. We shot in Sean’s house, and we are in her backyard. She and I talked a lot and became friends. We exchanged so much about our experiences being an immigrant mother bringing up American children. I had Sean’s mom record every line. Many of these lines did come from her. She was the inspiration. I wanted to see what snippets I could incorporate to channel her spirit. That was a fun exercise to help me create a character. If I hadn’t met her, I would not have that. In her gentleness, she had that quiet strength. She was not as forceful as I would have been. I channeled mannerism and spirit.
You have had a remarkable career, working with Wayne Wang (“Dim Sum: A Little Bit of Heart”), Bernardo Bertolucci (“The Last Emperor”), Ang Lee (“Lust, Caution”) and of course, David Lynch ‘s cult hit, “Twin Peaks.” You have also directed films and are the executive producer of “Dìdi.” I fondly remember seeing you in “Turtle Beach.” Can you talk about your career?
I loved the novel “Turtle Beach,” and I really wanted to do that film. I requested time and again for David Lynch to write me out of “Twin Peaks” so I could go and make “Turtle Beach.” What a mistake! “Twin Peaks” was one of the best TV shows in history. I don’t always make the right choice. My character in “Twin Peaks” ended up trapped in a wood knob. I so much wanted [Josie] to be resurrected, but it didn’t happen. So, I do not always make wise decisions. With “Dìdi,” it was a simple decision. I loved the script. I never had the chance to express what I went through with my teenagers until this film.
We are seeing more visibility for Asian women with films like “Minari,” and “Everything Everywhere All at Once” winning Oscars. What are your thoughts on how the industry has — or has not — changed over the past decades?
I think things have improved. When I started out in Hollywood in the 1980s, there were almost no opportunities. You couldn’t find any characters that looked like me at all, and nowadays there are so many more. This year, at my age, all of a sudden, I became so busy with so many roles. It has changed for the better. The attention paid to the Oscars — back when “The Last Emperor” won nine Oscars, it didn’t cross anyone’s mind that you could consider the actors at all. Lately, it’s different. After Michelle Yeoh and “Minari,” things are more hopeful, and I’m fortunate that I am still here. I am also very fortunate that I can go back to China to make films there regularly. I work both countries, and Australia. I can travel to different cultures to work.
“Didi” opens in New York and Los Angeles on July 26, with a nationwide release on Aug.16.
