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Jimmy Kimmel had a hell of a job on Tuesday night, with two months worth of political mayhem to catch up on in his return to the late night comedy show.
One of his biggest takeaways from the summer of presidential campaigns was what he called Donald Trump's “huge mistake”: picking JD Vance as his running mate.
“There are a lot of things Trump isn't good at, one of the thing's he's especially not good at is picking running mates,” Kimmel quipped.
“He made a huge mistake with this JD Vance, who can't stop stepping in it every – for a guy who wears more eyeliner than Liza Minelli, you'd think he’d have a better understanding of women,” the comedian joked – referring to the ongoing onlin rumor that he wears eyeliner.
“JD Vance looks like someone asked AI to make the Two and a Half Men one person.”
Vance has hit headlines for his comments and views of women ever since he was tapped to join Trump on the Republican party’s ticket.
Resurfaced videos and audio have captured Vance, who is married with three children, saying professional women “choose a path to misery” by priotizing their careers over having children, and calling Harris and other Democrats “childless cat ladies.”
On Tuesday night’s show, Kimmel pointed to the glaring differences between the Republican vice presidential candidate and the Democratic VP pick Tim Walz.
“It's even worse for Trump considering the home run team Harris hit with this Tim Walz. I don't know where they were hiding him,” he said of Kamala Harris’s own choice of a running mate.
“He is beautiful. His blood type is corndog batter. He belongs to several 'pickle of the month' clubs.
“Tim Walz is the kind of guy who, if you sat next to him on a plane, he'd ask you what brings you to Tampa because he genuinely wants to know what brings you to Tampa.”
Swinging back for another dig at the Ohio senator, the Jimmy Kimmel Live host added that, by contrast, “JD Vance would just sit there watching you sleep.”
Vance being picked for the position was reportedly spearheaded by the GOP presidential candidate's eldest son Donald Trump Jr.
“Another good move, dumba**,” punched Kimmel, as the audience laughed.
He continued: “If Trump loses this election he's going to sue his son to take the ‘junior’ away.”
Kimmel also touched on the new energy within the Democratic party following President Joe Biden’s decision to exit the 2024 race, after after his disastrous performance in his debate against Trump in June.
“I'm feeling a lot better than I did after the debate, oh that was quite a night. It was like a half nightmare half hospice,” he joked, referring to Biden's painful and rambling attempts to answer questions on abortion, healthcare, and foreign policy.
Earlier in the show, Kimmel played a quiz to see how well his audience had been keeping up with the news.
He firstly highlighted the “assassination edition sneakers” sold by a Trump-owned company for $299, complete with the iconic photo of the former president with blood streaming down his face moments after the attempt on his life on July 13.
The shoes, which went on sale that same month, also feature the slogan “FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT” emblazoned on the side, along with the Star-Spangled Banner.
He cracked: “Yeah that's right, 'fight, fight, fight' on your feet, feet, feet.”
Kimmel also touched on Trump’s new batch of trading cards, featuring photos of him dancing and posing with bitcoins, before moving on to his final segment of the quiz.
“And number three, did 'Donnie Dumdum' make any of the following crazy statements while I was gone?” he asked, before playing a nearly two-minute long montage of Trump's wildest moments this summer.
The compilation included the former president questioning Harris’s race, claiming he is better looking than her, and claiming that he draws in crowds larger than Martin Luther King did during his iconic “I have a dream” speech.
Last night's was Kimmel's first episode since his youngest son, Billy (who was born with a congenital heart disease), underwent his third open-heart surgery at the age of just seven back in May.
