Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel lamented another day without the expected indictment of Donald Trump, or as he put it: “day two of ‘when are they going to arrest him already?’” Though Trump himself boasted that he’d be arrested for campaign finance violations in New York this Tuesday, some experts now predict he will be arrested next week. If it happened over the weekend, Kimmel said he’d “run into the studio and do a monologue in my bathroom”.
“Donald Corleone” is reportedly looking at his arrest as a fun experience, telling people he’s excited about potentially being handcuffed and paraded in front of cameras “like it’s the red carpet at some kind of Guilty People’s Choice awards”, Kimmel joked. “He’s also saying he specifically wants to get handcuffed behind his back, which weirdly is the same request he had for Stormy Daniels when he got into this mess.
“Melania has been debating whether she should play Party in the USA or Celebration by Kool & the Gang,” he quipped.
“One associate said Trump wants to show the world that if they can do this to him, they can do it to anyone,” Kimmel added. “Which, um, yeah. It’s called having laws.”
Kimmel also outlined the scenario “that has the Maga world all fired up right now, and that is if Trump refuses to leave Mar-a-Lago to surrender to authorities in New York or Georgia or one of the many places where he might wind up getting arrested, you know who would have to authorize the warrant?”
That would be Ron “Meatball Ron” DeSantis, the governor of Florida and Trump’s main rival for the GOP presidential nomination. Matt Gaetz, the Florida GOP congressman previously investigated for sex trafficking, called on DeSantis to do everything in his power to prevent the arrest, lest “any Floridian” be vulnerable to “false accusations”.
“Spoken like a truly innocent Florida man,” Kimmel deadpanned.
Jimmy Fallon
On the Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon also expressed disappointment over the non-arrest of Trump. “After all of the hype and buildup about Trump, Stormy Daniels was like ‘spoiler alert! Get ready to be disappointed.’”
“Trump said he was going to be indicted Tuesday, then everyone thought Wednesday, and now it may happen Thursday,” he explained. “It’s like seeing the alert that your Uber driver is two minutes away for three straight days.”
Trump is reportedly excited to be arrested for the attention, “but wait until he finds out the ketchup in jail is Hunt’s”, Fallon joked. “What a difference a day makes. It went from ‘lock her up’ to ‘lock me up.’”
And in other news, TikTok sent 20 influencers to the Capitol to protest against a potential ban on the app. “Of course, since it was a TikTok protest, it lasted about three seconds before everyone moved on to something else,” Fallon quipped.
The Daily Show
Trump's original crimes are now having their own baby crimes? They grow up so fast 🥲 pic.twitter.com/7EpQ5tfTG6
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) March 23, 2023
And on the Daily Show, guest host Al Franken broke down the four separate investigations into Donald Trump investigations, including a federal case on his handling of classified documents taken to his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida. Earlier this week, prosecutors revealed that Trump knowingly misled his lawyers so that they would submit a sworn statement regarding the documents that he knew was false.
“So just to be clear, Trump was already in trouble for stealing classified documents from the White House, and now he may have broken the law again by tricking his own lawyers into lying to the government,” Franken explained. “So now Trump’s original crimes are having their own little baby crimes.
“They grow up and implicate you so fast, don’t they?
“Can you imagine being a lawyer for Donald Trump and finding out he set you up?” he added. “That would make you question whether it was even worth buying a degree from Barbados in the first place.
“I know there are a lot of different cases going on and this all seems very complicated, but there is a simple explanation,” he concluded. “Trump is a criminal. I hope that clears that up.”
