With other late-night hosts on vacation for the week, Jimmy Kimmel discussed Donald Trump’s latest financial woes and his desperate plea for immunity.
On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the host started out by talking about March Madness, the basketball tournament that has everyone secretly watching games at work. “My hope is that we get all of the madness out in March so we don’t have any left for November,” he joked.
Kimmel moved on to Trump who is having trouble finding the funds for his $454m bond needed to comply with a New York court ruling over shady business dealings from himself and his family. “The real loser here is Melania, she may end up with half of the nothing he owns now,” Kimmel said.
He added: “If you think she hates him now, wait until he’s poor.”
While Trump is in financial trouble, “his excuses are richer than ever” as his lawyers make a desperate plea to the supreme court for presidential immunity. Kimmel joked that he should also ask for “immunity from chlamydia just in case”.
Trump believes that no president must face a penalty for crimes committed in office, which his lawyers say would have catastrophic effects for future presidents. Kimmel said that “it turns out the guy who bragged to Billy Bush that he should be able to do whatever he wants thinks he should be able to do whatever he wants”.
Kimmel believes that there is “no reason for them to even be hearing this case” and that Trump made the biggest mistake by not realising the power of immunity lies with the crimes others can commit for him. He could have given anyone around him immunity instead, something Kimmel refers to as “wizard power” but “if you’re dumb and arrogant” then you end up making the mistakes yourself.
“If Donald Trump wants immunity, he should drink bleach like he told us to do when we wanted immunity,” he said.
This week also saw Trump win the Republican vote in new states but “not as bigly as he was hoping he would” with many voters still opting for challengers who had already dropped out of the race. “I’m pretty sure Ron DeSantis choked on a meatball at Christmas,” he joked.
Kimmel moved on to the disgraced MyPillow CEO, Mike Lindell, who “may be out of money but he is not running low on crazy life stories”, with footage showing him tell a story about a cartel trying to cut his head off in Mexico.
He has long been teasing “bombshell evidence of voter fraud” that will “shock the world” but as Kimmel said, “the world has gone unshocked” with nothing of any substance emerging.
Finally, Kimmel spoke about a new happiness survey that shows that America was not among the top 20 happiest countries in the world and was in the 23rd place, only one spot ahead of Germany.
Kimmel said it was no surprise that Americans are depressed. Of the upcoming election, he said: “We’re gonna have to choose between a dinosaur and an orangutan.”
