Single people should be valued as much as couples and families, the Church of England has said in a major report that welcomes diversity in personal relationships.
The church should “not regard [singleness] as lesser than living in a couple relationship”, the report said, pointing out that Jesus was single.
“We have an amazing opportunity to reimagine a diverse society in which all families and loving relationships are valued and strengthened, promoting the stability that enables us all to thrive in a variety of family constellations, including being single.”
The 236-page report, Love Matters, published on Wednesday, was the result of a two-year commission examining relationships and families ordered by the archbishops of Canterbury and York. It was the third in a trilogy of commissions; earlier subjects were housing and social care.
The report recommended that the C of E offer relationship preparation and support “to be available to all couples planning to marry. Ideally this would also be available to couples planning to cohabit and those planning to marry in a civil ceremony”.
It also urged the government “to invest in accessible and affordable relationship support. This should be available for all couples facing relationship difficulties, long before the relationship breaks down”.
Its call to “honour” singleness marks another departure from the church’s traditional advocacy of lifelong heterosexual marriage, preferably with children. For more than 20 years, the C of E has allowed divorced people to remarry in church. This year it also agreed to offer services of blessings to same-sex couples who have undergone civil marriages, while stopping short of allowing same-sex marriages in church.
The report acknowledged the “growing number of people who do not live in a couple relationship or with family members”. According to the Office for National Statistics, the number of people living alone in the UK increased by 8.3% over the 10 years to 2021. The proportion of one-person households ranged from 25.8% in London to 36% in Scotland.
The report said: “Singleness can be a deliberate choice – sometimes the right partner has not been found, and sometimes separation, divorce or death has resulted in the loss of a partner. Inevitably, singleness does not necessarily imply celibacy, although this is the choice some single people in faith communities make.
“The Commission believes strongly that single people must be valued at the heart of our society. Jesus’ own singleness should ensure that the C of E celebrates singleness and does not regard it as lesser than living in a couple relationship. Loving relationships and being able to give and receive love matter to everyone.”
People experience “different kinds of family or household during their lifetime: from the early years, throughout adulthood and, potentially, into old age, reflecting the greater choice we now have about how we conduct our relationships”.
While most of the children, young people and adults the commissioners spoke to defined family as close relatives, “many also described friends, work colleagues, neighbours and members of faith communities as being ‘like family’…
“To be considered as ‘family’ does not necessitate a certain type of relationship or a specific family form. What matters is the depth of the connections and the support which can always be relied upon.”
