Jeremy Clarkson has opened up about ageing and his own mortality ahead of his 62nd birthday.
The often out-spoken TV presenter kicks of the discussion on the often taboo subject of dying when he recalls how accepting those he has witnessed around him appeared when in the final throws from death.
Penning in his Times column he shares how he fears his own death will be in stark contrast to the calm and serene demeanour displayed by others and he suggests he's more likely to be ''howling and pleading with doctors to find a cure''.
But of course Clarkson, who lost his own father at the very age is he is now soon departing, admits that he thinks about dying a lot.
He admits he's done a lot in his life and has produced children to 'sustain the species' but fears he is now simply a 'consumer' of stuff unnecessarily.
He explains: I’m a drain, a waste of blood and organs. And soon I shall start wetting the bed, which means I’ll be a nuisance as well.
"But though I know the party’s nearly over and it’ll soon be time to go home, I’m imprisoned by medical science, I’m forced to forge a path through uncharted waters, living a life no one in all of human history has ever led before."
Clarkson continues a somewhat melancholy meander through his own experiences of those ageing around him and pals who have proudly declared they have 'new knees'.
But the broadcaster turned farmer fears the advance in medical breakthroughs could simply leave the older generation like himself simply 'outstaying their welcome'.
He dismisses typical retirement hobbies such as a desire to travel or reading as he comes up against the harsh reality that there's no one to share a conversation about the books with, as all your colleagues are all dead and grandchildren are bribed to spend time visiting you.
But he does offer 'two nuggets' of ageing and confronting the fact when you are old you can 'waste time' which he has come to rather enjoy.
The first being the lack of attention old people must pay to their appearance and the latter finding a simple pleasure of going for a walk - something he confesses to previously have proved pointless.
In signing off his demise and attitude to ageing he added:"I think this is what defines old age. All the stuff I used to think was boring is now a “lovely” way of passing the time."
