The more you think about it, the more it becomes obvious that Billy Idol invented the 80s. The whole thing – plastic pants, guyliner, cocaine, abandoning political convictions for monetary gain, motorcycle crashes, all of it was his doing. He was still pretty late getting the party started: Dancing With Myself didn’t really kick in until 1984. Until then, the prevailing culture in the US was geared to a now-extinct creature, the Regular Slob.
Too young for Vietnam, too dumb for college, and not nearly ambitious enough to own a Trans Am, the Regular Slob spent his days playing pinball, sleeping late, and fantasising about Farrah Fawcett. He liked Star Wars and Deep Throat in equal measure, and slept mostly on sofas. The Regular Slob had never even heard of punk rock, thought disco was for pussies, and was terrified of heavy metal. The Regular Slob loved Styx, REO Speedwagon, ELO and Boston. Stuff that spoke directly to him, and his idle, apolitical, moustache-farming lifestyle.
