Do you tire of the daily battle against gravity? Are you ready to at last forsake all earthly concerns, and commit yourself forever to the shadows dancing on the wall of your electric cave? Then allow me to present the Electric Gaming Bed 2, a new pinnacle of dire hedonism unveiled earlier this week by Japanese gaming furniture company Bauhutte.
"Do you want to make 'gaming while lying down' a full-fledged part of your daily life?" Bauhutte says in the machine-translated product page. "The 'Gaming Bed' is a forbidden layout designed specifically for the unapologetically indulgent gamer."
We covered earlier incarnations of Bauhutte's gaming bed back in 2020 and 2022, but its latest form promises exciting new advancements in excess. Like its last model, the Electric Gaming Bed 2 features multiple motorized sections allowing the occupant to elevate and lower their upper body and legs independently, meaning you can go from sleeping to submersing yourself in a panoramic digital miasma in just moments, all through the mere push of a button.
New to the Electric Gaming Bed 2, however, is the ability to split the bed into three sections for ease of transport and delivery, ensuring that homes of all sizes are at risk of serving as host for your supine indulgence station. There's also a newly-added retention bar to keep your mattress from slumping to the floor while your gamer bed undulates. Can you imagine? If your mattress slid off your Electric Gaming Bed? I didn't buy this thing to be embarrassed!
Jokes aside, a bed with elevating sections has clear utility for people with mobility issues. But the company doesn't seem particularly interested in that use case. Instead, Bauhutte's marketing strategy, targeted at "people living a supremely decadent life," seems focused firmly on a specific clientele—by which I mean goblins.
Just look at its depiction of the ideal gamer bed setup, which incorporates other fine Bauhutte products in a fortress of wire racks and extendable cupholders. Here is a man entombed in powder-coated luxury: To his left, his sustenance—a uniform supply of energy drinks and cup noodles, guaranteeing that no unfamiliar flavor could distract from the four competing screens vying for his attention before the taurine haze subsides and he's lowered by piston for a brief pause in his prolonged electronic narcosis. To his right, a raiment for when he wakes—a single t-shirt, unadorned.
It's unclear whether the Electric Gaming Bed 2 will ever be available for international customers, but if you're in Japan, you can buy one for just ¥70,400, or roughly $450. That doesn't include a Bauhutte Gaming Mattress, however—that's another $200, give or take. But can you really put a price tag on a life of supreme decadence?
