Jane McDonald has broken her silence on the death of her fiancé Eddie Rothe who passed away after a battle with lung cancer aged 67 in April 2021.
The former Loose Women panellist, 59, spoke to Kaye Adams on her How To Be 60 podcast about how the following months have been since losing her beloved partner, heartbreaking saying she felt his death 'took our future'.
Talking about how she was feeling, Jane said: "I'm a lot better than when I was on Loose Women. I can talk about him now and just feel great that I had that amazing time with him.
"And it's funny, we should talk about retiring because he retired at 59. And said, I promise you when you get to this age, you'll see a difference. And I have. So we had lots of plans.
"And I think that's part of grief as well is that you go through the normal grief and the terrible, terrible time and then you grieve the life that you thought you were going to have."
Jane said she has to come to terms with adjusting to a different life.
"When he died, he took our future," she said.
"So I think that is, I've got to have a different life now. And that's taken a bit of adjusting to, but I'll get there. Because that's what do, we get there."
Jane first met the rocker, who was the drummer in The Searchers, at a club in Wakefield back in 1980, and they embarked on a teenage romance, as Jane was just 17 at the time.
However, they parted ways after a few months of dating, and didn’t see each other again until they were reunited in 2008, and they quickly struck up a relationship.
Later that same year, Eddie got down on one knee.
During the podcast, the singer went on to talk about the moment Eddie was diagnosed with lung cancer.
She said: "It's a shock when your partner becomes ill. And it's just a shock to your system completely. And I think it's made me realise actually, how many summers have we got left.
"And I want to do so much. I want to go on holiday, instead of filming one. I want to you know, I want to write, I want to be creative. I want to have time in my lovely home.
"You know, and I want to be here for my family. You know, my, my niece is just about to have a baby. And we're all very excited about that.
" And I want to be around, I want to be around for them all just for a while to like sort myself out and then stop working as much as I do. Because I work constantly."
Jane said she had a friend Sue move in with her in the months after Eddie's death.
"When you're on your own, there's, there's always that the wee small hours in the morning where everything seems a lot worse than it actually is," she said.
"And if I wake up and I'm in a bad way, I know that Sue's just down the hall a bit."
Remaining positive amid her grief, Jane added she is taking a two year break from touring and is "looking forward to turning 60".
Kaye Adams: How to be 60 is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and all good podcast platforms. New episodes are released every Friday.
