“Blimey, Beef. Who writes your scripts?” Graham Gooch famously trilled to Ian Botham while the meaty and mulleted all-rounder was busy dispatching the then record for Test dismissals in August 1986. Returning after a 63-day suspension for admitting cannabis use to play New Zealand at the Oval, Botham memorably took a wicket with his first ball back to draw level with the record and then went past it in his next over by pinning Jeff Crowe lbw. Gooch was left to wonder aloud about whether some ballpoint-wielding higher power might be responsible.
“You couldn’t write a script like it” is one of sport’s most hackneyed phrases, of course. If Hollywood can come up with aliens bursting out of John Hurt’s stomach in outer space, then I’m pretty sure they’d be able to summon the creativity to imagine Bruce Edgar tickling a back-of-a-length delivery to second slip in south London.
