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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Introduction Roxane Gay. Interviews: Erica Buist. Photographs: Gabriele Galimberti

‘It’s not just pleasure – it’s resistance’: portraits of people with their sex toys around the world

Portrait of Gulim sitting on a sofa with her legs underneath her while cradling a cat. In front of her on a small table her sex toys are laid out
Gulim, 41, writer/content designer, Almaty, Kazakhstan. Scroll to the end of the article for her story. Photograph: Gabriele Galimberti

Most of us are taught to keep our sexual lives private. We’re taught to hide our desires, and all too often, to be ashamed of them. Cultural instruction about sex tends to be very prescriptive. Sex happens in our bedrooms, behind closed doors, between a man and a woman. Sex is for procreation rather than pleasure. Sex is for marriage. Sex should only happen when you fall in love. If you’re a woman, you should only have one sexual partner for the whole of your life. If you’re a man, the sky’s the limit.

Certainly, some of these mores have shifted over time, relaxed a bit. But mostly, we’re supposed to keep our sex lives to ourselves. And certainly, we aren’t supposed to partake of anything that would strain the strictures of “good taste”, like say, pornography or sex toys.

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