Did you know that orgasms can help your hair grow? It’s a fun fact, especially significant for women over the age of 40, because in midlife our hair thins as growth slows down. I know this because as a 53-year-old woman and co-presenter of the podcast Postcards from Midlife, I am now something of an expert on women in this age group. And sex, I have found out, is vital for us – emotionally, physically and culturally.
The traditional narrative that the baby boomer generation encountered and passed on to today’s generation who are now in midlife – Generation X – was that women’s sex drives declined with age, while men’s remained the same or increased. There was an assumption that as other things came to dominate our lives – caring for elderly parents, looking after teenagers, dealing with illness, trying to stay relevant at work – our sex lives, much like our physical selves, would become invisible. And of course, juggling all this does affect us – but this notion of a declining sex drive is not only patronising, but also inaccurate. In fact, 40% of midlife women we quizzed in a survey on our Facebook group said they wanted more sex. A total of 56% said they owned at least one sex toy; 65% enjoyed sexual fantasies (though 82% didn’t discuss these with their partners); more than 35% were masturbating at least once a week; and almost 37% were having sex at least once a week. So it seems we didn’t put our love lives in the loft with our vinyl collections.
