It’s an odd quirk of our unwritten constitution that the role of Leader of the House of Commons has evolved into something akin to the Eastbourne of cabinet positions – god’s waiting room for ministers on their way down (Robin Cook, Chris Grayling, Andrea Leadsom).
Conversely, that of Chief Secretary to the Treasury is regularly given to those destined for bigger things (Alistair Darling, Yvette Cooper, Rishi Sunak). As if being a junior Treasury minister is the political equivalent of the theory that everyone should work in retail at least once in their lives.
Boris Johnson has performed a mini-reshuffle this afternoon. Under-fire chief whip Mark Spencer has been moved to, you guessed it, Leader of the House. Spencer you may recall remains under investigation following Conservative MP Nusrat Ghani’s claim that she was sacked because of her “Muslimness”.
As Laura Kuenssberg points out on Twitter, Leader of the House has an important role in upholding standards of behaviour in the Commons, which may prove tricky while he himself is being investigated.
The previous incumbent, Jacob Rees-Mogg, has been made Minister for Brexit Opportunities (no sniggering in the back – just because the benefits don’t offset the losses due to trade friction with the EU doesn’t mean they don’t exist entirely).
Europe Minister (and purveyor of Twitter puns) Chris Heaton-Harris has been appointed the new chief whip, in charge of securing a modicum of loyalty and keeping the Boris Johnson show on the road.
What this reshuffle is not, however, is a panacea to make voters or concerned Tory backbenchers forget about Sue Gray’s report, the Met investigation or the Prime Minister’s ill-judged slur against Keir Starmer.
Speaking of which, as we write in today’s leader column, it is impossible to say with precision who, or what, drove an angry mob to crowd the Leader of the Opposition and chant the name of child sex offender Jimmy Savile.
Unruly mobs by their nature require little encouragement to shout silly things. But in the Standard’s view, Johnson’s false accusations debases the political discourse, and he should withdraw it.
Elsewhere in the paper, forget WFH or TW*Ts (those coming to the office Tues, Weds and Thurs), it’s time to meet the WFAs (work from anywhere). Rosie Fitzmaurice gets to know the new digital nomads Instagramming their workdays from Lisbon and Rio.
In the comment pages, do read Emily Philips on ‘Chloe’, a psycho-thriller about obsession, which also happened to her. Meanwhile Jochan Embley’s take on the Jimmy Carr’s genocide ‘joke’ is the best I’ve read on the subject.
And finally, if you’ve made it this far, you’ve more than earned all the detail from the Coleen Rooney – Rebekah Vardy latest from the High Court, replete with allegations of foul-mouthed text messages and other charming details as part of the ongoing libel case.