Liverpool defender Virgil van Dijk has admitted that he became worried that he could not return to his dominant old self after suffering the most serious injury of his career.
The towering Dutch international has the opportunity to get his hands on silverware later today, when The Reds face off against Chelsea in the Carabao Cup final at Wembley stadium.
And the excitement of the occasion is a million miles away from the agony he suffered last season, after rupturing his right anterior cruciate ligament against Everton, which not only ruled him out for the rest of the campaign but left him having to learn to walk again before he could think about returning to Liverpool's first team.
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Van Dijk has made 32 appearances for The Reds this season, scoring three goals, but feels that he has been rejuvenated since the Premier League winter break.
Speaking in an interview with the Daily Mail, Van Dijk said: "It was always going to take time from the pre-season until now.
"I feel very good. I think the winter break really helped me, to get away with my family, to get some time to really switch off, not to think about football and the pressure we are all under.
"I felt a little bit taken for granted at times, like people were acting as if nothing had happened and everything was normal.
"I had to really switch off and get myself clear in my head and make sure I told myself that everything that is happening right now is quite good and be proud of it.
"It isn’t really normal, after the injury I had, to be able to already play that amount of games and the level I had already reached, in my opinion.
"So there were a lot of things going through my head before the break. I needed to have time with my family, switch off, clear my head and recharge so I was ready to go. I went on a nice beach holiday far away with my family and my kids and it was really needed.
"The games before the break, I felt I had good games but to keep that consistent level and also the level that everyone expected of me was always like a pressure. It was a thing that played a part in my head a little bit, not much but still...
"Even if I had a good game, I felt like no one appreciated it as much as they should.
"Not that I’m insecure and need to have confirmation all the time, not at all, but I felt like coming back from an ACL/MCL injury and playing the amount of games I have played so far, playing three games a week, it is quite good and should not be overlooked. And it was overlooked in my opinion."
Despite missing seven months of last season, Van Dijk has played more minutes for Liverpool this season than any other player.
But he admits that with pundits jumping all over any mistake he made when he returned to first team action - including a lapse against Atletico Madrid that allowed Antoine Griezmann to score against The Reds in the Champions League - doubts would creep into his mind as to whether he could return to the levels that had made Van Dijk the most feared centre-back in Europe.
He said: "I saw some of the comments about the Griezmann goal and I know I could have done better. In any game, there are moments where you could have done better.
"The injury was not the issue. I am my hardest critic and I will always know when I do things well and I don’t do things well.
"There are doubts in your head about whether you will come back the same. That’s normal. You overthink everything. You are full of pain. You can’t do anything."
With Van Dijk returning to the training pitch as the Premier League season drew to a close, supporters raised concerns that he would play in the Euros for Holland in June, compromising his rehabilitation, but instead he chose to stay on Merseyside and prepare himself properly for a new season with Liverpool.
In the Daily Mail interview, he said: "From the moment I went into pre-season with the boys in Austria, I felt I needed to climb the ladder again physically and mentally to get where I want to be.
"The aim was to play the first game of the season regardless. That was my aim from when I cancelled the Euros. That was also a tough decision to make but I felt it was the best decision to make to be ready for the next season.
"I felt like I needed to climb this ladder towards the first game of the season and do what I need to do for it. Dr Andreas Schlumberger, the club’s head of recovery, was a big part of that as well.
"It was before I started pre-season that I had some doubts. If you are running on your own and feel a little bit of stiffness, you start to wonder if it is going to be normal again.
"I got to the point last month where I needed a break. That was clear for me and it helped me and now I am determined to kick on, enjoy the rest of the season, whatever the outcome, go to the World Cup hopefully, enjoy that, and be the player I always want to be."
