‘It gives me no pleasure, but I am going to have to beat you’: was I the last boy to be flogged at Eton?

Sebastian Doggart: ‘From Lord of the Flies to Hogwarts, the dark side of boarding schools occupies its own fascinating genre of horror and bleak comedy.’ Photograph: Cian Oba-Smith/The Guardian

I am the last boy to have been beaten at Eton. I confirmed this in a conversation with Tony Little, the then headmaster of that venerable school, during his 2002-15 tenure. “Our archivist has checked the files,” he said, “and can find no record of any beating since summer 1980.”

“So if I were to say I am the Ruth Ellis of corporal punishment at Eton,” I asked hopefully, referring to the last woman to be hanged in Britain, “would I be correct?”