It’s no secret that meeting people online is a huge part of dating culture in Wales. In 2021 alone, it was revealed that the UK had one of the highest user rates of Grindr across the world, alongside far more populous countries such as India and the US.
But while the 13-year-old platform strives to offer a safe space for many who identify as LGBT+, some have not had this experience. Alexandra, a 23-year-old trans woman, claimed that using Grindr in Cardiff made her feel unsafe.
The former Adamsdown resident used the platform, which describes itself the world's largest social networking app for gay, bi, trans, and queer people, during the past year but deleted it after receiving numerous abusive messages. Alexandra said: “There was a time when I would receive a lot of rape threats - like a lot - and genuinely written in a way where they clearly thought I would like it.
“People would say things like ‘I bet you’re a filthy sl*t with makeup like that’. The things that have been said to me on there have actively pushed me toward suppressing any attraction to men I had for a while. It became damaging to my mental health.”
Read more: How to be a better ally to the trans community
Alexandra's experience comes at a time when hate crimes across England and Wales are at an all-time high. The number of police reported hate incidents has increased by around threefold from 2012 to 2021. Hate crimes specifically committed against transgender people also increased by eight times during this period.
“On the platform I occasionally get people coming to tell me I’m wrong about my gender identity too. It saddens me,” Alexandra said. At the end of 2021, Grindr revealed that UK users were the fourth highest in the world for accepting ‘Not Safe for Work’ (NSFW) images on its platform. Alexandra appreciates that this is a big part of the platform for a lot of people but found its sexual nature to be degrading.
She added: “There's this sort of preconceived notion about trans women where you are seen as a fetish. You often tend to immediately get messages saying ‘show me your c**k’ which is not the sort of thing you want to do as trans.
“It often feels very disrespectful, like you are entirely being reduced to a fetish. I’ve compared it with other trans girls. While it’s bad, I think you can be a bit more out and prouder in Cardiff. You can’t really be in the countryside.” WalesOnline has contacted Grindr for comment. To keep up to date with more news from across Cardiff subscribe to our newsletter here.
