Mike Tyson famously came up with the line about everyone having a plan until they get punched in the mouth.
OK, it’s not Chaucer.
But it gets the job done and there’s unlikely to have been much of a queue to tell Iron Mike differently.
Anyway, let’s apply his quote in a rugby context.
Ireland had plans when they faced Wales in the 1992 Five Nations Championship, only for their main lineout jumper Neil Francis to cop a punch in the chops from Tony Copsey that left him seeing more stars than Patrick Moore might have come across in his entire career.
Incredibly, and even given that it was the rough-and-tumble-anything-goes amateur era, Copsey stayed on the field.
Even more incredibly, the referee was Fred Howard, also known as Fred the red for his willingness to dismiss those who transgressed on his watch.
But Copsey didn’t leave early that day and with Ireland’s star lineout forward understandably not operating at full tilt Wales secured only their second Five Nations victory in 14 matches.
What caused the incident?
The duel between Francis and Copsey was felt to be the key to the whole game.
Wales had seen their lineout wiped out in the World Cup by Australia just months earlier, with a Wallaby operation spearheaded by Rod McCall and John Eales claiming 28 throws against opponents who secured the ball just twice themselves.
New coach Alan Davies didn’t need reminding that no-one wins rugby matches on the back of statistics like those.
Hence the inclusion of the 6ft 7in Copsey for the mission across the Irish Sea.
But the early exchanges hadn’t gone well, with Francis making a nuisance of himself. Copsey decided too many liberties were being taken and something needed to be done. Francis falling on top of him after winning another lineout was the cue for action.
Let’s allow Copsey, a charismatic Romford-born lock who had come to prominence with Llanelli, to take up the story. “It seems strange now, but players did a lot of the policing themselves on the pitch in those days,” he told WalesOnline.
“If opponents were lying on the wrong side at a ruck or messing you about at line-outs or scrums, you sorted it out and even certain referees seemed to accept that.
“There was nothing premeditated about the incident with Neil.
“He was a good player but he’d been taking me out at the early line-outs and I knew that couldn’t go on.
“I thought he was going outside the rules, so I needed to do something about it and I did do something about it.
“In the context of the game now, of course it wasn’t clever. But back then different rules seemed to apply.”
The punch he threw at Francis connected squarely. Wales’ full-back that day, Tony Clement, had been standing a fair distance from the incident but later reckoned he could hear what had happened. "I’m sure I did,” he said. “Well, as sure as you can be in a packed Lansdowne Road.”
Never mind the assault on Clement’s aural senses, Francis had other matters to deal with.
His left cheekbone had taken a heck of a crack and bruising appeared within seconds.
Copsey’s Test debut surely looked set to be over before it had properly begun.
Fred the red and the great escape
Except the script didn’t pan out that way.
Fred Howard had a reputation for taking a stern stance on rugby violence. Over his career, he sent off more international players than any other European official.
Quite what happened to Fearless Fred that day remains a mystery.
But Copsey dodged a bullet.
If he didn’t buy Ieuan Evans’ beer that evening, he should have. For in his book Bread of Heaven, Evans, then Wales’ captain, outlines how he used all his powers of persuasion to persuade the English official to let Wales retain a full complement.
“Fred called him (Copsey) over at once in a very stern manner and I rushed over right away and launched into the defence of my man. I used every excuse I could think of and a few I hadn’t thought of. ‘It’s his first cap, ref. First minute of the match. Very physical. Always the same with the Irish. Fred, you can’t send him off, not for that’, wrote Evans.
At one stage Howard covered his microphone so no one could hear the exchange. His decision was good news for Wales.
“He had put the fear of God up both of us before letting Copsey off with a severe warning. Really, that episode won the game for us. Without Copsey, we would have lost the match,” said Evans.
The chapter in Evans’ book dealing with Copsey’s great escape is entitled Rumpole to the Rescue.
Merry Christmas (war is over?)
“Fred Howard is still on my Christmas-card list,” laughed Copsey when we spoke to him. “And Ieuan is still my defence lawyer.
“Seriously, I think Fred took into account it was my first cap and that a few other things had been going on. He knew I was fired up and a bit hot-headed.
“But it didn’t look great for me at the time.
“If it had happened today, there is no question that I would be off.
“It could have been the shortest Test career on record.”
Years later, in a column for the Sunday Independent in Ireland, Francis revisited the incident, recalling how he’d been helped from the field by a doctor: “The punch didn’t cut me but the cheekbone and eye began to swell up to the point that I could not see out of my left eye. (Ireland coach) Ciaran Fitzgerald came out of the stand as my face was being iced.
“‘What’s happening?’” asked Fitzy.
“‘I can’t see Fitzy,’” I said.
“‘You aren’t f***ing going to let him away with that are you?’”
“‘You’re f***ing right I’m not. Just give me a minute so I can see.’
“I ran back onto the pitch with the sole intention of giving Copsey some and a bit more. As I got to the lineout Fred Howard called me aside.
“‘Don’t do anything stupid. I will be watching you.’
“I couldn’t believe it. I was sure he had seen what happened and let it go and now Copsey would get one on the house.”
Wales get the job done
Francis having had his effectiveness neutered — “the wind had been taken out of his sails,” noted Evans — Wales went on to win 16-15, with Stuart Davies diving over for a memorable debut try.
Back home, BBC Wales celebrated the win by showing clips of the action accompanied by music from the old Thin Lizzy single The Boys Are Back in Town.
The Alan Davies reign as coach had properly started.
And so to dinner
Fate would have it that Francis and Copsey were seated by each other at the post-match function, meaning they would have to talk to each other all night.
“Let me explain about this playing rugby, knocking lumps out of each other and then having loads of pints and letting bygones be bygones crap. That’s a myth,” wrote Francis in his Irish Indy column.
“I think Tony is a great fella now, but right then, at that moment, if I could have popped him one I would have. We shook hands at the table and at the end of the night.”
The revenge that never was
According to the old line, revenge is a dish best served cold.
But Roger Wilson wouldn’t have found too much to enjoy about Francis’ revenge mission.
Three years after the episode in Dublin, the man who was to become Irish rugby’s most controversial columnist still hadn’t forgotten.
Then came his chance for retribution.
It didn’t go well.
In fact, it went comically wrong — painfully wrong for Wilson.
Francis told how he had picked his moment at a line-out in an A international at Pontypridd.
“After 25 minutes the moment arrived and the call was made. The ball came in, there was the usual pushing and shoving.
"I loaded my fist and punched Copsey in the face. It wasn’t a king hit but it was good enough to do some damage.
"A millisecond later and a good old-fashioned ‘all-in’ dust-up took place. There were too many punches thrown and (referee Dave) Pearson had to wait until it all died down.
“I joined the Irish huddle and said well done to the lads for mucking in. ‘Copsey’s sorted — let’s see if we can push on and win this f*****g match.’
“A few of the lads looked at me with a blank expression. I looked over at the Welsh huddle and there is Copsey looking at me — unblemished. It was almost as if he gave a wave and shouted ‘Cooeee’ at me.
“I looked behind the doctors attending to the injured player on the ground. Blood and snotters everywhere. It was our No. 8 Roger Wilson who had claret streaming from his nose and had to be helped off.
“’Who did Rog?’ they asked.
“’F****d if I know’, I said.
“Couldn’t even get even properly.
“I said nothing. How could I? I had a few pints with Tony after the game and we have met several times since. He is a good bloke. The punch lives on, the moment has passed and revenge is off the menu.”
The final word
Essex-boy Copsey had a ‘Made in England’ tattoo on his backside.
“When he thanked me for helping to get him off the hook,” wrote Evans, “I said: ‘Just make sure you get another tattoo on the other cheek, one that says ‘Refined in Wales’.”
Not 'Sent off in Ireland'.
That would have been unfortunate.
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