A GREAT DAY THIS HAS TURNED OUT TO BE
In Brexit Britain, it is important that the fine nation continues to send exports and ambassadors to the continent in order to maintain relations with Europe. As one of the nation’s best and brightest managers, who was sacked after a 9-0 defeat at Liverpool, Scott Parker was seen as a fine candidate to be shipped out to Belgium, with his blue passport tucked in the top pocket of his gilet and a John Lewis notebook of tactical genius.
After sealing promotion from the Championship with Fulham and Bournemouth, leaving the clubs after relegation and a disastrous start respectively, he was earmarked as the man to take Club Brugge into the Big Cup knockout stages. A last-16 tie against Benfica looked winnable, with the team having beaten Atlético Madrid, Porto and Bayer Leverkusen in the group. Au contraire, as our mighty European Football Tsar has since found out. Many Brits have come a cropper during a short stay in Bruges because of poor preparation, but that’s usually due to not reading the ABV in a darkened bar before heading out on to the cobbled streets in winter.
And in honour of Belgian beer, Parker is expected to leave with a 16.7% win percentage after two victories in 12 games. The final act: a 5-1 drubbing in Lisbon to complete a 7-1 hammering on aggregate. Parker patrolled the Estádio da Luz touchline with gusto, pointing and shouting like a man that had some hope of turning round their two-goal deficit from the first leg. Unfortunately for Parker, Benfica dished out a shellacking to follow up Club Brugge’s 3-0 defeat against Oostende at the weekend. It had been hoped their 2-2 draw with local rivals Cercle was the nadir, a game that ended with forward Noa Lang calling his teammates “effing pussies” while following Parker down the tunnel. More innocent times.
“For me it’s been challenging, but the players have been brilliant and wanting to do everything they can to turn this around,” sighed Parker, who is set to be replaced by Alfred Schreuder once told to do one. “I understand people now doubt [me], I’m not naive enough to not [think that],” he parped. “What I am is fully committed to trying to turn this corner around.” Hmm … Not to worry, there is still plenty of Europe to conquer, should it come to it. There is Bulgaria, the Swedish second division and Kapaz in Azerbaijan could be looking for a new manager soon. Every explorer has a few failures before finding the promised land, although most tend to do it in more appropriate attire.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
Join Scott Murray from 8pm GMT for hot Big Cup last-16 coverage of Bayern Munich 2-2 PSG (agg: 3-2), while Barry Glendenning will also be on deck then for Tottenham 3-1 Milan (agg: 3-2).
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It’s something I love talking about because it brings back so many great memories. I think it’s one that will stick with me forever and one I will definitely be telling grandchildren and things like that, because it’s memories you dream of when you’re a young girl. For me, growing up just round the corner from Wembley, you dream of those moments, to play there. I was playing ‘Wembley doubles’ as a kid, where you score and go through to the next round, and that is just like playing at Wembley. That is how I felt – I felt like a young kid on the pitch there and I just celebrated the goal like I would celebrating in cage football” – Chloe Kelly reflects on her famous Euro 2022 winner and says she wants women and girls to feel they are able to “just be themselves”.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Re: yesterday’s Quote of the Day. As a Leeds fan who experienced brutal behaviour from French riot police, ticketing chaos and second-hand tear gas at the 1975 Big Cup final in Paris, I was thrilled to hear that a precedent has now been set and I look forward to receiving a refund from Uefa. If I recall correctly, the ticket was £20 and we paid another £20 or so for our return trip on a Wally trolley” – Robert Heath.
Thanks to Simon Lewis (yesterday’s Football Daily letters) for allowing me to dwell for a moment on happier times – and redirect some of this week’s schadenfreude – by reminding me of this occasion when the third goal most certainly wasn’t enough” – Steve Allen.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our letter o’ the day, receiving a copy of Nooruddean Choudry’s Inshallah United: a story of faith and football, is … Robert Heath. We’re giving away copies all week, so get typing.
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