The bars are empty. The food village is deserted. Fish goujons and hog roast slowly drying out on industrial hotplates. Stewards perched on the edge of their boundary chairs, no longer looking out for potential oil protesters. Long faces in the Long Room, the members in mutiny. They haven’t been this angry since the Independent Commission for Equity in Cricket report came out. In the middle, Ben Stokes playing cricket from the gods. The target is thinning. The Ashes are alive.
What larks we had! They talk in the England camp about making memories, and as the noise swelled, as the afternoon throbbed with possibility, as a million text messages pinged across the ether reading “get yourself in front of a telly”, perhaps this was exactly what they had in mind. Cricket as pure liquid entertainment. Cricket as national fixation. Cricket as the very best time of our lives, a red ball and a red pounding heart.
Anyway, Australia won by 43 runs. Which feels like the most inconvenient of details, and somehow also the most important. England were bold and thrilling here, scored 652 runs at more than four an over, came within a half-hour of pulling off the most remarkable run chase in the history of Test cricket. England made their memories all right. Meanwhile, Australia went 2-0 up with three Tests to play.
In a way this has been the defining note of the series to date: the tension between England’s idealism and Australia’s pragmatism, the weather front at which England’s sunny blue skies collide with the storm clouds of reality. Brendon McCullum reckoned England played all the cricket at Edgbaston. Ollie Robinson pointed out that Australia looked rattled. Zak Crawley thought England would win by 150 runs here, and who knows, maybe he still does.
England are 2-0 up in the Memory Ashes, and realistically it’s hard to see them giving it up from here. Perhaps when the final wicket falls at the Oval, we will be treated to the surreal sight of both teams erupting in wild celebration.
Australia can hold aloft the old Ashes trophy – silly little red thing, one for the traditionalists, take it home if you want. Stokes, meanwhile, can brandish the Vibes Urn, a giant gold-encrusted amphora filled with Red Bull and kebab meat, a real trophy for real men. The open‑top bus parade starts at 2pm the following afternoon.
And of course, even in defeat there will be plenty of ammunition to fuel England’s sense of self to Headingley and beyond. Both matches have been close. Stokes’s astonishing assault can be held as a vindication of England’s approach, a sign of Australian fragility, a justification for going even harder and even longer next time. That fleeting glimpse of glory, the brush with immortality, will be taken as evidence that England are nearing their nirvana.
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Most of all, the controversial stumping of Jonny Bairstow by Alex Carey offers the perfect grievance, a rallying point, a score that needs to be settled. Bazball is angry. You wouldn’t like Bazball when it’s angry. Robinson was already talking about coming back from 2-0 down before this Test had even started, and weirdly England may well feel they have a better chance of winning the series now than they did on Sunday morning.
At which point it is probably necessary to let reality impinge just a little. England are 2-0 down not because of cheating Aussies or insufficient ambition, but because they are playing a superior side with superior cricketers, with more tones and shades to their game.
Australia’s second-best spinner is the shrewd and excellent Todd Murphy, who will probably replace Nathan Lyon in Leeds. England’s second-best spinner was retired a month ago and their third-best is also their best batter. Australia have fielded four bowlers who can hit 90mph. England have fielded one. Australia have batted like adults. England have batted like children. Australia practise their catches. England have largely stopped practising entirely.
Perhaps England know this and perhaps they do not. Perhaps they are too busy living in the present to give much thought to the future. But even as Stokes was flaying Australia to all parts here, it was possible to glimpse how this thing ends, to feel the entropy as well as the chaos. Jimmy Anderson and Stuart Broad may well have shared their last new ball. Stokes is flogging the last few ounces of strength from his battered body and may have played his last great innings. Root is 32, Bairstow 33.
In short, if ever there were a time for making every moment count, for squeezing every last drop of potential out of this group of players, it is surely now. The third Test begins on Thursday and if England are defeated they will go down as the first side to lose to Australia on home soil in more than 20 years. People remember things like that, too.
