Banners are all the rage. And rage is on all of the banners. I’ve always described games between Celtic and Rangers as a separate life form – but now it’s gone otherworldly.
An alternative universe inhabited by some people who turn the rivalry between good teams into a joyless experience. Ange Postecoglou and Michael Beale sat at Hampden for a pre-cup final press conference on Tuesday looking like two hostages reading out statements written for them by their captors. The sight of them staring straight ahead, avoiding eye contact, made me think an Englishman and a Greek- Australian had been inducted into the West of Scotland’s odd ways when it comes to this particular fixture and brought down to our level.
Likewise, the idea of someone pre-programming Fashion Sakala to refer to Celtic as the “other mob” when he spoke to the broadcast media this week was an exercise in questionable behaviour. We can only be thankful no-one put the young Zambian up to using one of the more colourful names the fans have for either club and leaving him with a media storm to face.
There is an infantile dimension to this game which regrettably overlooks the professional expertise of the players to concentrate on banality at the expense of their talents. Celtic and Rangers thoroughly deserve to contest today’s Viaplay Cup Final. Some fans should try harder to acknowledge that fact. I understand the concept of there being a deserved winner in an Old Firm game left town a long time ago.
Everything today has to be a fix based on institutionalised bias. But I had to laugh at the use of the word “standards” on the banner displayed by Rangers fans at Livingston last weekend. The group who held up the message ending “uphold the standards that matter” actually meant’ give us the symbols of success that matter’.
But it’s not right to criticise Beale’s principled move to right a wrong against Partick Thistle and imply you’d be happier if he cut corners and investigated what he could get away with on a regular basis.
Likewise, Postecoglou will be able to look to his right-hand side from Celtic’s technical area at Hampden today and observe this week’s view of life in general as expressed on the Green Brigade’s banner. It will hopefully be free of any words that are inappropriate on a Sunday.
If I had used last weekend’s four-letter word while working on the radio I would have been sacked immediately and Ofcom, the broadcasters regulatory authority, would have come down hard on my employers. Radio programmes have what’s called a dump button, which instantly fades down anybody who swears live on air. That’s because it’s unacceptable behaviour in civilised society.
But our attention has been mercifully distracted in the approach to the cup final by those who disregard the quality of Celtic and Rangers to focus on the allegedly dubious nature of disciplinary matters. If you look at the ratio of bookings administered to fouls committed this season, refs are more lenient towards Celtic and inclined to punish Rangers.
“I’ve been doing some digging,” said the man who was revealing this sinister development to me on the radio.
Are you following this? People are actually trawling through the record books to highlight an imbalance in the imposition of yellow cards.
Never mind long unbeaten runs. Disregard performances of outstanding quality. Forget about teams who are at least making a two-horse race in the league look like one of the Classics.
It takes Celtic more fouls to get a booking than Rangers? Give me strength.
If you don’t mind, I’ll focus on a final that has the potential to be compelling and goal-laden and ignore the bravado, the bluster and the baloney. It took Postecoglou six games to figure out our game and he’s been dominant ever since – but the next four matches will be a fresh inspection of his team’s credentials.
Rangers today will be followed by St Mirren away in the league then a double-header with Hearts in the league and Cup. What happens at Hampden could have a knock-on effect, negative or positive.
One loss in 57 league matches suggests Celtic don’t get tested defensively on a regular basis. They will today and the likes of Joe Hart and Carl Starfelt will be put under scrutiny.
Hart was careless at Ibrox in the sides’ last meeting. Starfelt had a rush of blood to concede a needless penalty. Alistair Johnson against Ryan Kent? Then again, Ange’s Trouble in Triplicate – Jota, Kyogo and Maeda – might run amok and make that redundant.
The point is, at least applaud and recognise the prospect of a thriller in advance. Whoever wins, the result of a survey published last week will need a significant update today.
Glasgow is the swear-word capital of Britain, according to Reeboot Online. It analysed 916,467 messages and found swear words in 15 per cent of all comments.
It could be much worse after today. It depends how many fouls it takes before a Celtic player is booked, I suppose.
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