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Newcastle Herald
Newcastle Herald
Damon Cronshaw

'If you don't stop, it's over': relationship strife over porn addiction

Sexologist Vanessa Thompson said pornography use was problematic when it "interferes with day to day activities such as work, hobbies and relationships". Picture by Jonathan Carroll
Sexologist Vanessa Thompson said pornography use was problematic when it "interferes with day to day activities such as work, hobbies and relationships". Picture by Jonathan Carroll
Sexologist Vanessa Thompson said pornography use was problematic when it "interferes with day to day activities such as work, hobbies and relationships". Picture by Jonathan Carroll
Sexologist Vanessa Thompson said pornography use was problematic when it "interferes with day to day activities such as work, hobbies and relationships". Picture by Jonathan Carroll
Sexologist Vanessa Thompson said pornography use was problematic when it "interferes with day to day activities such as work, hobbies and relationships". Picture by Jonathan Carroll

The rise of free pornography is causing addiction and straining relationships, Newcastle-based sexual health specialists say.

Counsellor Maxine Carter, who sees patients at Broadmeadow, noted a rise in young men seeking treatment for porn addiction.

"Porn-induced erectile dysfunction is now more prolific," said Ms Carter, who specialises in pornography addiction.

"This could be due to the desensitisation effects of watching hardcore pornography."

She said some young men were "in great difficulty because their partners or wives are saying, 'if you don't stop, it's over'."

Counsellor Maxine Carter said 'porn-induced erectile dysfunction is now more prolific'. Picture supplied

Dr Vanessa Thompson, a clinical and forensic sexologist in Newcastle, agreed that pornography "can have serious implications on a relationship".

"If there is a boundary that partners won't use pornography, and one does, it can be seen as a breach of trust," Dr Thompson said.

"This is often heightened when it involves a partner watching pornography of a person known to them, such as with OnlyFans."

Ms Carter sees patients in their 20s, who grew up with high-speed internet and have been watching pornography online since they were kids.

Some were so addicted "they will leave a gathering with friends or family to get home to watch porn".

Dr Thompson said pornography use was problematic when it "interferes with day to day activities such as work, hobbies and relationships".

She said it was a problem when someone wants to stop, but "can't get through the day without it".

Dr Thompson said the biggest change in her experience of the issue was "the increase in the ease of access and the abundance of free pornography available".

Dr Vanessa Thompson. Picture by Jonathan Carroll.

She highlighted that pornography "can lead people to have unrealistic expectations of themselves, their partners and sex in general".

"Due to a lack of sexual health education and low pornography literacy, many people consume porn as though it's an education guide.

"This is obviously problematic and contributes to feelings of shame and inadequacy."

However, some individuals and couples were "able to use pornography in a way that enhances their sexual experiences".

Ms Carter raised particular concerns about pornography that involves violence, mistreatment of women and sex trafficking.

She was also concerned about it being "so accessible", highlighting that "children as young as eight are watching porn on their phones".

Dr Thompson said there was "a big difference" between an 8-year old searching for sexual content and one who "displays concerning sexual behaviours".

"When children of this age are looking at sexual content, it is usually because they are curious and want to know more about bodies, sexuality and sex.

"They are typically not being deviant. It's important to provide children and young people with age appropriate information about bodies and sex."

In March, the eSafety Commission released a roadmap for "age verification technology" for online pornography.

A federal government response to the roadmap, released in August, said "pornography is harmful to children who are not equipped to understand its contents and context".

"They should be protected from exposure to it online."

However, it said such technology was "immature" and had privacy and enforcement problems.

Liberal MP Andrew Wallace responded by saying "big porn producers" were being allowed to "self-regulate".

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