What’s your favourite thing about yourself? Stylist’s Love Yourself campaign asked over 400 women that, and published eight pages of their answers. People mostly picked low-key, quite specific stuff – “I can cook something out of nothing”; “I’m really strong”; “I can talk to anyone”; “I’ve got an excellent bum” – and it was lovely, and touching, to see women affirm what they like about themselves. It also felt strange – almost shocking? Stylist called giving yourself a compliment “squirm-inducing” and yes, the thought of doing it myself made me squirm.
I feel something similar when I see people online expressing uncomplicated, justified pride in their achievements or liking who they are out loud – it’s a sort of “is that allowed?” feeling, like the rules have changed and no one told me. If toxic humility is a thing, I definitely have it, because I get a masochistic buzz from self-deprecation, especially when it provokes someone into contradicting me. I have a shopping list of things I hate about myself that I take out and luxuriate in on sleepless nights, but deep down, I don’t actually believe I’m a worthless, irredeemable worm (even typing that feels transgressive!); I do hate the idea of letting anyone know that though.
