Back in 2008, Soundgarden frontman Chris Cornell began posting thoughts and reflections on his MySpace blog. The contemplative brooding one amongst grunge frontmen, Cornell seemed to enjoy the opportunity to untangle his thoughts and share his musings with fans. In the years since, the posts have mostly been lost to the black hole of internet archiving but there is one that still does the rounds and it shows the late Black Hole Sun singer and songwriter at his deep-thinking best.
In it, a dream he had the night before involving late Alice In Chains frontman Layne Staley prompts Cornell to write about what dreams might mean and reflect on the friends he'd lost over the course of his life. "I am fascinated with the essence factor of dreams,” he wrote, explaining that in his dream he was sitting in a café that was actually the lunch court of his elementary school when the Alice In Chains singer, who died in 2002, appeared. "Various friends from my past were walking up and talking to me. In the middle of this scene walks Layne Staley,” explained Cornell. “He looked much like he did the first time I met him. Shoulder-length hair, clean-shaved. Clear-eyed and looking about 20 years old.”
"I was so happy. Confused a little, but in a dream like this, I just wanted to accept the idea that there was some mistake and he was alive and well. He seemed happy and said was working on some new music project. I woke up not long after that with the feeling that I had really just talked to him and he was somewhere doing just fine.”
It was a dream, he said, that had sent his thoughts back to the death of Mother Love Bone singer Andrew Wood, when Cornell and a group of friends went to Mother Love Bone manager Kelly Curtis’ house to grieve together and Staley arrived in a flood of tears. “Layne flew in, completely breaking down and crying so deeply that he looked truly frightened and lost. Very childlike,” Cornell recalled.
“I had this sudden urge to run over and grab him and give him a big hug and tell him everything was going to be OK… I wanted to be that person for Layne, maybe just because he needed it so bad. I wasn't. I didn’t get up in front of the room and offer that and I still regret it. No one else did either. I don't know why.”
Next, Cornell’s memories were drawn to Staley’s funeral and the Soundgarden man reveals his state of mind at the service. “At Layne's funeral, I was angry,” he wrote. “I kept hearing the 'twice-as-bright-half-as-long' speech and the 'he-was-just-too-special-for-this-world' nonsense that I had heard at so many other funerals for so many other friends that were so young and talented.
"I'm not sure why I was that angry. Angry at Layne? Angry at all my other friends for leaving me? Angry at the people running around in circles saying 'I knew him best' or 'I was the only one he really trusted,' angry at all of them for squandering what I thought of as brilliant futures that would make the world feel to me like a place worth living?
"Or maybe I was just mad at myself because he was dead, and one time I had a chance to pick him up, dust him off and let him know that there was a person who cared about how much pain he was in and I didn't do it… If I ever run into him in a dream again, I hope I remember to apologize.”
It was a piece of writing that made for a revealing insight into the thought-processes of one of grunge’s most iconic frontmen.
