IN the late 1980s, Stuart Murdoch was diagnosed with myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME), known as chronic fatigue syndrome. It was a difficult period in his life which now “feels like a movie” – one the frontman of Belle and Sebastian decided to revisit through his debut novel.
Murdoch’s semi-autobiographical book, Nobody’s Empire, pens an intimate coming-of-age story which focuses on a trio – much like his film God Help the Girl. Set between Glasgow and California in the early 1990s, the novel follows Stephen, a young man who has just left the hospital after being diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, a little-understood disease robbing him of his life.
As he meets new pals, Carrie and Richard, who are also ME sufferers, he begins to feel more understood. Stephen then explores his faith and discovers he has a knack for songwriting. Nobody’s Empire at times almost reads like a love letter to Glasgow and its best spots, as the novel echoes Murdoch’s talent for songwriting.
The singer and founding member of Belle and Sebastian was born in Glasgow, then went to school in Ayr. He notes that this period of his life was almost split into two halves.
Speaking of his school days, he says: “The first half was in primary school where everybody was really friendly, and then I went to secondary school.
“I had a great friend in primary school and then secondary school ... it was a very big jump, and it was like moving to a new city.
“It was a huge school, and it was thrilling, but at the same time it was dangerous, especially, I think, if you were a boy, that pervaded the atmosphere back then.
“The early days were terrific, but in the later days, I was in a rush to get away from the secondary school.”
Murdoch started to write Nobody’s Empire in 2019. At first, he intended the story to be a graphic novel. He never planned on writing an auto-fiction, it just sort of happened.
“I guess me and the editors decided that was it was when it was finished. It’s really just a story based around my life in the early 1990s, but it was fitting to make the characters fictional.
“I was inventing a lot of the conversations and changing some of the details,” Murdoch says.
After being diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, which is believed to affect at least 250,000 people in the UK, Murdoch laid low for several years before starting the band Belle and Sebastian.
Was it difficult to look back on this period, 30 years later?
“I think maybe the time was right, enough time had passed. Thirty years is a long time, and so the me who I met in the early 1990s feels like a movie, it feels like a different level,” he says.
“It was so much fun to write it down, to revisit, even though it wasn’t fun to be there a lot of the time.”
“Although there was that little pocket when the Berlin Wall came down, and Weber got back in and chased a couple of things. In the mid-1990s, there was a general optimism that I think prevailed in the UK and the rest of the world.”
It is up to Belle and Sebastian fans to guess which part might be inspired by Murdoch’s real life. While working on his novel, he never thought anything might be off-limits.
“I’m used to sort of baring my soul on stage to hundreds or thousands of people, so I think I’ve sort of crossed that bridge. I really was quite happy to go to some of the darker places.”
The singer-songwriter turned novelist says that nowadays, he has become “a bit of an expert” on the illness and knows how to manage his symptoms best.
“All of my band, the people that work with me, my wife, everybody knows that I have restrictions on my energy. So, they give me plenty of room to disappear to go rest.
“For instance, if we’re rehearsing, then I’ll always get rest. I’ll always go and do some meditation or lie down for one minute of the day. I’ve built great periods into the day, and I’ve [become] quite an expert at trying to make those little pockets of storage, as it is possible.
“I think for anyone with ME, it would be so useful to be able to build these pockets into the day,” he explains.
The book shares the title with a Belle and Sebastian song released in 2015 on the album Girls In Peacetime Want To Dance. Formed in 1996, the indie-pop band have released 12 albums. Never in a million years would Murdoch have imagined their success would last.
“In the very early days when the band just started, I thought it was a miracle that I was doing what I was doing. I thought it was miraculous after ME, and I thought my capacity was to do one EP, maybe two, and then give it up,” Murdoch says.
“I thought it was going to just last until the end of the year 1996. Then it just kept going and my energy improved and the people in the band proved to be very, very friendly and so it was a continuous surprise.”
The band have toured all over the world, but to date, one of the most memorable moments of his career remains their first time in Argentina.
“I remember particularly being overwhelmed by the response that we got when we visited Buenos Aires, we had no idea that 5000 people went to see the concert.
“We stayed behind after the concert to say hello, and we got caught for two hours just in the street, chatting to people, that was a real buzz,” he recalls.
There is one lesson Murdoch has learnt throughout his career – never date your bandmate.
“I learned the hard way to never go out with the person you’re working with in a band. We both learned that the hard way. I wouldn’t change it, because me and Isobel were always meant to meet each other.
“It was an important part of the early band, the fact that she was in the group, but it really took its toll on everybody. It’s a sort of contradiction.”
Being in the public eye, Murdoch says there is no point in worrying about others’ perception of you.
“People will make up their minds about you. And you can’t make people think a certain thing. You have to accept that some people will think you’re a wanker – and they told me that many times. And then some people will think that you’re kind and wise. So, you try not to worry about that stuff.”
Nowadays, the musician says that hardly anybody makes money from selling records. But he does have one piece of advice for those who dream of making it into the music industry.
“It’s a difficult time, especially if you’re in a band together. We used to sell records – and a band could sell records – but now hardly anybody makes anything from it. Always do it for the love of it.
“And if you feel that you’re onto something, if you feel that you’re doing something original, then don’t be dissuaded by other people. Just stick to what you’re doing,” he advises.
While on stage, Murdoch does not get nervous, but there is still a bit of “trepidation”, regardless. However, on tour, what he is most concerned about is his health. Last year, Belle and Sebastian had to cancel tours because of his health.
“The difficulties are more about staying healthy, having enough energy, looking after your voice, not getting Covid, those sorts of things.
“So when it comes to getting nervous, I don’t allow myself to get nervous. I have to remind myself that it’s very lucky that I’m there to serve the people who come to the concert.”
In the near future, Murdoch wants to record a gospel album. In the early 1990s, he stumbled into a choir he is still part of to this day, one he refers to as his “shadow band” – a moment also mentioned in his novel.
“I think the minister saw a young man coming to the church, which was quite rare.
“I think he learned that I was interested in music, so he hooked me into the choir almost immediately, so that I would consider, you know, staying in the church,” he laughs.
“This wasn’t my plan at all, but 30 years later, I’m still in the same choir and it’s always been my shadow band.”
And if it wasn’t for the minister telling him to “can belto”, Murdoch’s voice might not sound as gentle as it does.
“It was a Latin way of saying ‘Sing lightly’ and so I think the choir encouraged me to sing like that, and that really helped with Belle and Sebastian,” he says.
Murdoch goes to church a lot. If anything, his faith has increased over the years – which is an aspect he uses for his songwriting.
“The thing that inspires me most is spirituality. It inspires me in such a direct way that it actually, I would say, writes the songs for me. I do believe that my melody comes from somebody else.”
There is one thing the Glaswegian hopes readers will take away from his book – hope.
“Especially for people who have any form of chronic fatigue, there’s so little information. And some people with other forms of chronic fatigue might have a very different experience if they’re almost denied it.
“I hope they can recognise, that they can almost fast forward in their minds and think, ‘Okay, I’m going to take this from the book’, that they take that little bit of advice and go avoid what Stuart said here, so a little bit of practical hope for people with ME,” he says.
Murdoch has always been very vocal about his experience with the chronic illness. In 2022, he took part in a protest outside the Scottish Parliament, following calls to fund specialist treatment to tackle the illness.
There is no known cause or cure for the condition, and treatment to this day is, still only available for specific symptoms.
“It’s a physical illness, and I believe that people with physical illnesses should be helped. They should be helped by doctors and nurses and health care.
“In the same way that you would treat somebody with diabetes, MS, cancer, people with ME should be helped,” he says.
According to him, more attention needs to be drawn to direct care or research.
“I think we need to look at Covid and ME together, and really dig into the research around cell levels.”
After a successful book tour in the UK, Murdoch has announced he will be taking his debut novel on the road to North America.
“I think I’ve got used to the band tour. I don’t look forward to the band tour because I think about travelling and a lot of the hassle, and it’s busy.
“But on the book tour, I’m just looking forward to it being just me and a van.”
Published by Faber, Nobody’s Empire is now available in bookshops.
