Dear Vix,
I feel so sad and hurt, confused and guilty. I would take a bullet for my daughter – but I don’t like her. I have no warmth left in my heart for her at all, which scares me and makes me feel that I’m an unnatural mother. I know I wouldn’t hesitate to do whatever it took if my daughter’s life was in danger, but I’m not sure if that’s love or just maternal instinct. The problem is that love has been kicked out the door by her behaviour over the past three years. When in the grip of a drug addiction, she lied to me, stole from me and battered me with cruel words. I still wanted to hug her better and do whatever it took to support her; especially when she wanted to move back home again to get clean and healthy, which she did for more than two years. I spoiled and subsidised her and bit my tongue a lot, as she doesn’t take criticism well. I was scared of jeopardising her efforts to keep clean. Mostly I was proud of her – never more so than when she felt strong enough to move out again and get on with her life.
