I am a 65-year-old woman who has not been sexually active in a very long time due to divorce and because I can’t find anyone I’m interested in. I also had a mastectomy at the age of 54, but I haven’t followed it up with reconstructive surgery. In my youth I had a lot of sexual confidence, but between an ageing body and now a disfigured one, I can’t imagine revealing myself to a man. Friends and family can’t believe I’m still single, and although I feel confident otherwise, I can’t get beyond this problem.
Start by finding a path back to self-acceptance. This could be via a body-image programme, an online or in-person support group or through books or podcasts on the subject. There are many resources out there, and there are also many healers of all kinds. Seek and follow what feels right and comfortable for you. At the same time, reach out to your community to meet people to talk to, have fun with and share common interests. True sexual intimacy after the types of challenges you have faced is absolutely possible – in fact highly likely – if you can heal your sense of being unlovable. Confidence attracts others, and you will regain that in time if you set your mind on it.
