To be honest with you I'm not a massive Elvis fan. I can appreciate his music and what it means to people but the whole thing around him – the hair, the outfits, the entire vibe of 'The King' – I've never really got it.
Before this weekend I'd also never been to Porthcawl. In the grand scheme of things I haven't lived much of my life in south Wales and I've been long overdue to explore a bit more of it.
The Porthcawl Elvis Festival therefore presented a useful opportunity: see a bit more of Wales and learn a bit about one of the greatest rock and roll stars of all time.
READ MORE: Big Porthcawl redevelopment could cause questions for Elvis Festival in future
Through the course of my trip to Porthcawl on Saturday, I was flirted with by a woman dressed as a ship captain, I heard Suspicious Minds for the first time, I met approximately 40 different Elvises, and generally I had a bloody good time. You can see all the best pictures from the event here.
Walking down towards the Porthcawl waterfront from the car park I bumped into a woman in a wedding dress. Thinking I'd stumbled upon a huge story I caught up with her and asked if she was getting married.
"No," she laughed, "I'm dressed as Priscilla Presley!" Lesson learned.
And there was so much I had to learn. Between the GI Blues costumes, the back catalogue of songs (I'd stupidly thought Always On My Mind was a Pet Shop Boys original), and the many genres of Elvis impersonator to be found by the coast in Porthcawl I had a lot of catching up to do.
Luckily there was an army of Elvises to help me on my quest. There were tall Elvises, short Elvises, drunk Elvises, and sober Elvises (it's at this point that I ask – Elvi?), Elvises who looked like Del Boy in a dodgy wig, and Elvises who looked like Phil Mitchell in sunglasses.
Some of the Elvises had travelled from Wigan, some just from Bridgend, but oh boy did they have the "thank you very much" absolutely NAILED. Through the day I was treated to more "uh huh huh"s than I could've possibly hoped for.
After asking five middle-aged Elvises to treat me to their best impression of the big man I asked them their names. They replied, in turn: "Elvis," "Elvis Two," "Elvis," "The Real Elvis," and "Elvis, man, uh-huh."
Something I immediately learned about Elvis was his power to bring people together. Plenty of couples told me their stories about the importance of his music to their relationship and there was even a wedding at the festival back in the day.
I spoke to a lovely group of older ladies in a pub who met when they threw a kids' party for the investiture of the now-King as Prince of Wales and have enjoyed a 52-year friendship punctuated by the music of Elvis Presley. I then spent some time with a family from London who built an entire week-long trip out of their visit to the festival.
Ruth, the family's grandmother, said: "My husband used to love Elvis. Everything was Elvis.
"We were married for 50 years. He liked Elvis but I took some convincing because I was more country and western."
At one point I approached a woman who was dressed in a captain's outfit. I was hoping to learn more about the costume's background in the world of Elvis lore but instead I had the most ego-boosting interaction I'll have in quite a while.
"He was on a ship, wasn't he, Elvis?" she offered. So far so good. I explained: "This is what I mean – I know next to nothing about Elvis, so I'm going around learning about him."
She replied: "Just so long as you've dressed up it's okay." I pointed out that I was not dressed up.
"Well you look like Elvis anyway," she said, adding: "You are DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS." Grinning ear-to-ear. The blokes near her were all peeing themselves laughing and I couldn't care less.
She made me try on her glasses and all just to prove her point. If you're out there, Carol, you've well and truly won a place in my heart.
Not to be distracted from the mission at hand I continued on my quest to learn about Elvis. I met a man from Wigan wearing an extremely sparkly jumpsuit and decided to strike up a conversation.
I asked this man – named Michael – where he'd come from. He replied: "Wigan."
I asked him what kept him coming to the festival every year. He replied: "Elvis."
I asked him his favourite Elvis song. He replied: "All of them."
I did learn a bit more about Michael and his wife Kim though. They got married just over 10 years ago and I Just Can't Help Believin' was their wedding song.
And – I hope you're sitting down – Michael's Elvis costume set him back £3,000. Three grand . I was almost lost for words. Why would someone pay that much for an Elvis costume?
It's maybe worth outlining my history with Elvis impersonators to give a bit of background on how little I knew about the world of Elvis fans. One time my grandma came home from a social night at her synagogue and when I asked her how it had gone she told me: "Well, I've never seen an Elvis in a Kippah before."
That's it. That's the entirety of my Elvis experience.
Coming into it from that perspective it was always going to be a tall order for me to emerge from the day with a newfound love of Elvis Presley. Can I honestly say that I found that? No, not really (although I've found myself singing Hound Dog in my best Elvis voice since I got home).
But I'm not one to sneer at anyone's music tastes. I've willingly paid to see Coldplay – twice.
I also never like to rain on people's parade. From my trip to Porthcawl I wasn't able to form any thoughtful, dramatic conclusions about the inner psyche of Elvis fans. I just saw loads of people by the seaside who were having a few drinks and really, really enjoying themselves. Who the hell am I to judge?
As Kim said when talking about the money spent on her husband's costume: "You can't take it with you." If I learned anything at the Elvis Festival it's that Elvis fans definitely know how to have a good time.
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