Around six weeks before Theo Webster’s daughter, Sophia, was due to be born, his ex-wife suddenly fell ill and was rushed to the hospital, where she found out she had a double kidney infection.
That day quickly turned into a life or death situation, and she had to undergo an emergency caesarean section, Mr Webster said.
The 32-year-old, from Devon, who runs an electrical services business, thought he had six more weeks to save for their daughter’s arrival.
But being unable to afford time away from work, he had to return to his job the following day, just hours after his premature child was born.
For the first two weeks after Sophia’s birth, she and her mother had to stay at the hospital, being separately cared for.
Each evening, after long days of manual labour, Mr Webster, would head to the hospital and spend just an hour with his partner and baby.
“It was a really worrying situation, because I didn't know if we were going to lose either of them. It was really stressful not having any contact with them during the day, and going there late at night to catch up on everything that happened,” he said.
Last Monday, tradesmen headed to Westminster to campaign for paternity leave for self-employed fathers. Alongside paternity leave campaign group The Dad Shift, they handed out condoms to MPs, which read “this lasts longer than our paternity leave.”
Right now, self-employed fathers are not entitled to paternity leave, while self-employed mothers can get a maternity allowance of up to 39 weeks.
But the government is currently conducting an 18-month review into parental leave and pay, which was launched last July. The review aims to look at all types of leave, including paternity, in order to make the system fairer and easier to use.
“Those first couple of weeks are really important for bonding with your child,” Mr Webster said. “It's a very big issue. At the end of the day, you don't get those moments back as a father, it's something that you literally cannot replicate. Once it's gone, it's gone.
“We're not doing this for ourselves. We're doing it for other dads…We've been there and we've not had that opportunity, but we want other people to have that opportunity.”
Josh Newbury is one of the many MPs backing their calls.
The Labour MP for Cannock Chase said the estimated cost for introducing the changes would be between £13 million and £38 million, “which for the government, is like peanuts”.
“In the first instance, we just want parity with everybody else and for self-employed dads to have the option of taking two weeks pay,” he said.
“I think it would make such a big difference to so many families, and particularly people that the government is trying to reach, people that are really struggling and making choices out of financial necessity, not out of desire.”
Mr Newbury, who is a father himself, said there has always been a perception that self-employed people work these things out themselves, but in reality, many are unable to care for their children.
“When you can't take the financial hit, you don't really have a choice, and I think we at least want dads to be able to have that choice.”
Among those calling on the government is Norfolk cable jointer Tony Skilbeck, who had to be 360 miles away for a job on the Monday after his son, Ned, was born.
With a mortgage, bills, and a newborn to support, Mr Skilbeck had no other option but to leave his wife, Lisa, to care for their baby alone all day and night.
“They’re not sharing the workload. They take on 100 per cent of it. I was fortunate, I could come home on a weekend, but she's still got those four or five days on her own to raise a baby.”
Mr Skilbeck, who also couldn’t take more than a few days off work when his daughter Kitty, now 19, was born, said the worst part was missing out.
He is now urging the government to introduce changes in the hope that future fathers don’t have to miss out as he did.
Alice Lester, who is four months pregnant with her first baby, already knows she will have limited help from her self-employed partner, Andy, who is in the carpentry business.
The Oxfordshire couple has been unable to put much money aside for their child, and Andy will have to go back to work almost immediately.
Ms Lester, whose family lives far away, dreads the thought of being her own after she gives birth.
"It’s basically going to be me left on my own with the baby. It's going to be my first child, so it's all going to be very new,” she said.
“There's going to be lots to take care of, and there's that anxiety that if something is wrong with me or the baby, or I'm struggling to recover, then I don't have that support system around me, and it's going to feel very much on my own without support that I need more than ever at that point.
“Knowing that at the end of it, I'm not going to have the support that I want makes it more of a worrying prospect than an exciting prospect.”
She knows it is also stressful for her partner as well, who feels stuck between wanting to be there and needing to financially support their family.
“If you pay into the system…I'd like to see there be a minimum two weeks paternity leave supported by the government, so that not just the father gets to spend time with his child, but also the mother of the child is supported, and the baby itself is supported.
Jordan Hook, a heating engineer in Oxford, had a baby boy five months ago who was born with health conditions affecting his bowel.
He had to get surgery within 12 hours of being born, and Mr Hook had to take three weeks off work to help care for his son.
“It was obviously quite hard on the family and there was no support for myself,” he said.
“I wasn't getting any money in and you are constantly looking at the bank thinking ‘have I got enough? I've got my mortgage coming out. Can I pay for that?’ And then it's putting food on the table at night.”
He said the absence of paternity leave is a huge issue that needs to be changed for the sake of future fathers.
“If my son were to go into the trade or go self-employed, would I want the same for him? If he had children and something was to go wrong, would I want him to have the stress in that? The answer is no.”
George Gabriel, the co-founder of The Dad Shift said: “This is the most active generation of fathers the UK has ever seen and that’s true in every social group and right across the country.
“It’s working class blokes who are let down worst by the least generous paternity offer in Europe, two weeks on less than half the minimum wage and with absolutely nothing if you’re self-employed.”
Responding to Mr Newbury’s calls to review paternity leave for self-employed fathers as part of the ongoing parental leave review, business minister Kate Dearden said: We know that the parental leave system needs to be improved and recognise that the current system does not do enough to support the many dads and partners who want to be hands-on and actively involved in caring for their children.
“That is why the review is so important. It will consider all current and upcoming parental leave and pay entitlements, looking at options to improve the support available to British working families.”
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