"I'd been weighed down by a secret for 57 years. That was too much for a small child to carry so far on her own... and for too long."
These are the words of an anonymous survivor of child sexual abuse, one of more than 6,200 across England and Wales who shared their stories with the Truth Project since the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse launched its pilot in Liverpool in 2015. For one in ten, it was the first time they'd ever told anyone about their abuse. The survivor continued: "The Truth Project helped me realise that it was not too late to set that burden down, and that it wasn't mine to carry."
Looking for a location outside of London to run its pilot, the Truth Project picked Liverpool where sessions with 20 participants were hosted by Liverpool Charity and Voluntary Services (LCVS). Helen Ryan, head of the project, said: "We needed something that was neutral, that wasn't a church or school, which can maybe trigger people."
READ MORE: 'My mum's last word haunted me till I got the help I needed'
From the start, a victims and survivors consultative panel advised the Truth Project on how best to engage with participants. Emma Lewis, 42, joined the panel in 2017 before sharing the stories of her and her mum with the inquiry.
She remembers being scared she wouldn't be believed when she first spoke out about the abuse she experienced as a child, but sharing her story with the inquiry as an adult gave Emma a voice.
She told the ECHO: "The Truth Project has said to people, 'We believe you, what you're telling us. You are going to be heard, you have been heard', and I think that has been so instrumental and crucial for victims and survivors. They came with the knowledge that they were being believed."
One survivor said: "It was a huge weight off my shoulders to finally be able to share my story. I can't thank the Truth Project enough for their support and kindness throughout the whole process. Even if my story helps just one child in the future it's absolutely worth it."
So survivors could feel control over what they share, the project followed a "participant-led" approach, with each session with participants being slightly different. Helen, 47, said: "What victims started to tell us was the impact of institutional failure on them, what it meant to them, what the failure was, and what could have been done differently."
Of the 5,440 victims and survivors who shared their stories with the Truth Project between June 2016 and June 2021, more than two thirds were between the ages four and 11 during the sexual abuse, and nearly half were abused by family members. Roughly 15% were abused in schools, 6% in religious institutions, 6% in residential care and children's homes, and 3% in foster care.
This abuse has a lifelong impact on survivors' "education, health, welfare and relationships", according to Helen. Around 94% of participants told the Truth Project they'd experienced some impact from the child sexual abuse, with 88% of reporting an impact on their mental health.
Emma said: "When these children went into these care institutions, they really thought they were being taken from an environment where they were being neglected and really being saved. But in fact, in a lot of these cases, the children were going on to worse, or even the same, situations than they were in. It's the biggest betrayal ever."
She found it "humbling" to be able to tell the Truth Project about the "institutional failings" experienced by her mum, who died in 2000. Her mum, who became an alcoholic, was sexually abused at a school for deaf children. Emma said: "I felt it was really important to tell her story to the Truth Project, because of the impact and trauma that it caused, not just for my mother, but for generations and other family members. The abuse that happens to that person doesn't just stay with that person. It cascades down to other people."
The 42-year-old also told the Truth Project about her own experience of being abused when she was six. There was a lot of chaos in her childhood, "lots of cause for concern, but no one ever asked the right questions, no one stood out and said, 'Are you safe? Are you okay?'".
Emma first told a friend when she was 12 before going through police interviews. She got support from her foster home and social workers, but she received no counselling at the time. She said: "As a child, you're confused. As a child, you're scared. There's so much that happens when a child is being sexually abused by someone.
"There's a lot of confusion that comes with that. There's a lot of confusion that comes with that. Especially a loved one, a family member, there are a lot of things that make it difficult because you believe that these people love you and that these people are meant to keep you safe, and actually it's these people who are causing the most horrendous and horrific harm to you, and you can't understand that.
"These people who are sexually abusing children often put conditions and blackmail on the children. You know, 'If you let me do this, I'll let you do that', so you almost feel complicit in your abuse, which isn't the case. You're just cornered in and exploited in such a way that you don't know any way out.
"When you're going through puberty and through such a crucial development stage of childhood, the last thing you want to do is to disclose the fact that you feel very different from everyone else. It isn't until you become an adult that you really, truly understand the impact and the effects of that abuse on you."
The Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse (IICSA) was launched by the Home Office in 2015 in the wake of the Jimmy Savile child sexual abuse scandal. Its aim is to explore "the extent to which institutions in England and Wales have discharged their duty to protect children from sexual abuse", according to the government website.
Since it was launched in 2015, the Truth Project has produced six reports on themes including schools, religion and sport. The project concluded in October 2021, with the inquiry due to publish its final report later this year.
On Monday, August 1, the IICSA launched the Legacy Project, which will see it place benches and plaques across England and Wales "with messages of hope from survivors who came forward". As well as giving recognition to victims and survivors, the inquiry hopes this will spark conversations about child sexual abuse and make children safer in the future.
Helen said: "One of the things we really want to do is acknowledge the victims who decided to share and the importance of what they did, and also the victims who didn't want to share or didn't feel that they were able to. We really feel the Truth Project brought out the voice of victims and survivors.
"We were able to use the experiences that were shared - for example, we published anonymised experiences of - so the voice and the experiences of victims and survivors are there to be learned from. It's been a complete privilege to be part of the project, but the privilege is on the basis of working with so many amazing people."
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