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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
National
Emma Guinness & Nia Dalton

'I was pregnant at the same time as my daughter - then I breastfed my grandchild'

When Jane McNeice found out her teenage daughter was pregnant, she was "absolutely devastated" and tried to persuade her to have an abortion.

But Laura, then 15, had always wanted to be a young mum - just like her own. Jane had given birth to Laura when she was 18, after all.

So Laura followed her heart and welcomed beautiful baby Evie into the world in 2012, making Jane an exceptionally young grandma in her mid-thirties.

Though, becoming a grandparent didn't stop Jane from wanting more children of her own, and she fell pregnant with her second child, a boy named Oliver.

The family had an unusual dynamic, with Jane's son being two years younger than her granddaughter - but again, it didn't hold her back from having another.

In 2016, Jane and Laura discovered they were pregnant at the same time, which brought the mother-daughter duo even closer.

"Laura and I were pregnant together. I was heavily pregnant. She was newly pregnant," Jane explained.

They supported each other in parenthood and brought up young kids at the same time, with Jane breastfeeding her grandchild to help Laura out.

"There were a couple of times I breastfed my grandchildren. I think that's quite extreme and that won't feel comfortable for everyone," she said.

"There will be some people who think that is amazing and a complete privilege. And there will be other people who are making sicky noises at that."

The pair now both live in Doncaster and Jane has three children - welcoming her last child aged 40 - while Laura has four.

Jane, 47, said there are many perks to bringing up a young brood, and she will get to have her grandchildren in her life for longer than most.

For her, there's only one real downside to being a youthful nan - and that's not being able to spend as much time with her daughter's kids, as she has her own youngsters.

Both Jane and Laura's teenage pregnancies were planned, and the mum-of-three had often wondered why they both wanted kids so young.

"What we have found out in the last couple of years is reasons why we might have chosen motherhood quite early on. We are both autistic," she said.

The unexpected answer that she'd been searching for came through Oliver, then six, who displayed challenging behaviour during lockdown.

Jane read about autism on Facebook, and said: "I literally just went, 'tick, tick, tick'. I knew straight away."

As well as 'working out' that Oliver had autism, she thought she had it herself and went to be formally assessed.

By this point, mum-of-four Laura, 26, has also begun to suspect that she had it.

Their suspicions were confirmed when Jane, Laura and Oliver were all diagnosed with the condition.

Jane said their diagnosis explains why their life paths were never destined to be the same as neurotypical people's.

"I bought into the neurotypical ideals - that your child does well, they go off to university, and they get a great job," she said.

"They get married, they have to 2.4 for children, a nice house, a nice car.

"Now that we know we're autistic, we're able to say what is normal for us? It's a different standard to what is normal for a neurotypical family."

Jane, who wrote a book about her autism titled The Umbrella Picker, admitted: "Autistic people struggle to make friends. We are simply different."

But her young children and grandchildren - being around the same age - will now never be "without a friend".

Did you become a grandma at a young age? Get in touch. Email nia.dalton@reachplc.com.

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