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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Rose Stokes

I was hiding behind small talk – what could I learn from my friend in California about how to connect?

Two friends jumping on the beach
Can you be a bit more Californian in your attitude? Photograph: Beatrix Boros/Stocksy United

Everyone knows life’s busier than ever. I’m a mum of two small children, with a job, endless domestic chores, and a husband. My social life often falls far down the list of priorities.

I’m not antisocial; my friends would call me an extrovert. But my energy for social encounters has diminished over the past few years and I’ve found myself hiding behind small talk – you know, talking only about your children and the strange things they’re doing. It’s a way of zoning out and it happens at the nursery gates, the gym, in the doctor’s office. I feel like I’ve lost my mojo. I’m socially burned out. Perhaps you can relate. It’s easy for us Brits to keep our walls up.

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