Walking onto the grounds of the all-boys Bolton School on his first day of school in September 2007, Hadley Stewart knew things would be different for him. Quietly coming to terms with his sexuality at the time, he had gone from being surrounded by friends to standing out amongst the crowd for his ‘effeminate’ nature.
Hadley, now a freelance journalist and broadcaster, said he was bullied relentlessly for being gay - even before he had pieced together the fact for himself.
“It was name-calling and people using ‘gay’ as a slur,” Hadley, 26, told the M.E.N.
“Because the word gay had been used quite negatively towards me, I did find it difficult to use that term to describe my sexuality. I had a small friendship group at school but the environment at the time still felt like LGBTQ+ topics weren’t being discussed. It was quite an isolating experience for me.”
Eventually, at the age of 15, Hadley came out to his friends on the day before they broke up for half-term. “I told one person who loved to gossip and basically gave them permission to spread the word,” he recalls. “I don’t think people were necessarily surprised about me being gay, I think the general reaction really was more that people were surprised that I’d actually gone ahead and accepted it.”
Thankfully, Hadley said the bullying eventually settled down because what had been previously used as a verbal punch to his gut could no longer be used against him. “There wasn’t really much point in the bullies calling me gay anymore because I’d already come out,” he said. “I think it kind of disarmed the connotation of things.
“I was able to find a way of showing that I was okay with it. I’m aware how things could have gone completely differently for me, but I was lucky enough that I never had any physical attacks or anything like that.”
Research revealed this week by LGBTQ+ young people’s charity Just Like Us found that almost half of LGBTQ+ adults in Manchester were bullied at school, compared to 15pc of their non-LGBT+ peers. Figures in the city-region were the third highest of all the 40 cities surveyed, after Southampton and Cambridge.
LGBTQ+ Mancunians surveyed were also twice as likely to say they had blocked their school experiences from their memory, highlighting the stark difference in school experiences between LGBTQ+ and non-LGBTQ+ people.
Some fifteen years on from Hadley’s experience, the research also found that 42pc of LGBTQ+ school pupils nationally are bullied today, compared to 21% of non-LGBTQ+ pupils.
Hadley said he was able to find a way to accept his sexuality during school through the lessons of his English Language teacher Naomi Lord. He says conversations were never ‘shoved in his face with an agenda’, but instead embraced as part of the curriculum.
“I think just being in a space where we could have open and constructive conversations was really important,” he explains. “She’d’ talk about queer people in a positive way, bring out texts from queer writers and talk about LGBTQ+ rights over the years in relation to the subject.
“It wasn't that she was waving a rainbow flag or banging a drum, she just spoke about society and the different people that make up our society. Exploring that through her subject of English in a natural way felt like an important way to open up that topic.”
Because of Miss Lord’s teaching style, Hadley said he found solace in her classroom. Since leaving school, he’s kept in close contact with her - even whilst studying at King’s College London - and she has become a mentor for him in terms of his own writing and advocacy.
Earlier this year, the pair hosted a session together at the Festival of Education, the UK's largest professional development event for educators. He hopes that by appearing on stage in front of teachers, and regularly hosting workshops and talks at schools across the country, including his former secondary school, he can highlight the importance of having positive LGBTQ+ representations in the classroom.
Philip Britton, Head of Foundation at Bolton School, told the M.E.N: “We are pleased to see Hadley working with young people in schools on this important issue and it was nice to see Miss Lord co-present with him at Wellington Festival of Education earlier this summer.”
Referencing Just Like Us’ recent research and statistics from Diversity Role Models, which found that being gay can be one of the most likely causes of bullying amongst secondary school students, Hadley says it’s crucial that sexuality isn't overlooked in schools.
“The fact that there are still so many LGBTQ+ students being bullied at school is disappointing,” Hadley says. “We’ve made so much progress yet society hasn’t truly caught up.
“What’s upsetting to me is that the ramifications of these people being bullied today won’t be seen until they go into their adult life. I know so many queer friends who have had negative experiences in school and it’s then gone on to have a negative impact in other aspects of their lives.
“It’s 2022, yet young people are still being bullied and isolated. What are going to be the consequences when they go into the workplace or society, it’s a real shame that this sort of thing is still going on and this legacy of bullying is still going to be prevalent in years to come.”
It’s something that Just Like Us agrees with too. Through their work, they want to train young people to be school ambassadors and champion positive LGBTQ+ experiences.
Dominic Arnall, Chief Executive of Just Like Us, said: “It’s devastating that so many LGBTQ+ people had such an awful experience at school that they’ve had to block it from their memory. We’re particularly saddened to see that LGBTQ+ Mancunians were three times more likely to have faced bullying in school. The fact that our young people are still having this experience in 2022 is outrageous.”
Sadly things haven’t really changed as much as we might like to think, as LGBTQ+ school pupils are still twice as likely to be bullied, struggle with mental health and are much more likely to feel unsafe in school.”
The CEO added: “LGBTQ+ representation is desperately needed in schools, which is why we’re asking LGBT+ 18 to 25 year olds to come forward and volunteer with us so that the future can look brighter for LGBTQ+ young people.”
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