A socialite has opened up about being blackmailed on LGBTQ+ dating app Grindr.
The man received threats that his nude pictures would be sent to his workmates and family unless he paid up £50.
Charley Jarrett, of Streatham, uses Grindr for 'casual hook-ups'.
While the 34-year-old's experiences have mainly been positive, he found himself a victim of a blackmailing sting in 2018 - and is now calling for tech firms to step up their safeguarding processes.
He said the conversation between the match began fairly conventionally.
“He said he was interested in coming over,” Charley told MyLondon.
They exchanged nude pictures - which is common on the app. Last year alone, 82 million expiring photos were sent on Grindr.
Charley said: “He thought he recognised me, so he asked for my phone number to chat on WhatsApp. ‘Fine, it’s easier to chat there,’ I thought. We chatted more, and he asked to look me up on Facebook.”
Grindr users usually have their full names hidden, but people can choose to give out their names if they wish, which Charley did.
Then the man on the other end went quiet for half an hour.
Charley then received a message that said: “Can you lend me £50?” before a terrifying threat.
“I said I was a bit broke, so no,” Charley explained. “He then said well ‘how about if you give me £50, I won’t send all your naked pics to all your Facebook friends.
“I googled what to do and it said, 'if it’s happening right now, call 999'. I went through to the police, the lady on the phone was lovely. She said either ignore him, say you’ve called the police, or block him.”
Charley chose to ignore him and the blackmailer lost interest.
The next day, Charley got a visit from a local officer who took his statement as expected. Then they got talking about Charley exchanging nude photos.
The officer replied, according to Charley: “Wow, stop there, why would you send him nude photos?” The officer then added it was not a “normal” thing to do.
“I said it was a normal thing on Grindr,” Charley added. “It felt like I was being victim-blamed, and he was being oblivious.”
Charley claims the officer then said about once finding a condom walking home that he thought had been left by a “normal couple” - implying not a gay couple.
Charley, who can joke about it now, said: “I just thought 'this is a guy who is not down with the gays'. He didn’t seem malicious, just ignorant. I’ve had police before who’ve formed a protective barrier over their colleagues when challenged, so I was sickly sweet with him.
“But he was making these comments to me, in my house, at my dining room table.”
The rest of Charley’s experience with the Met Police was far better. On the phone and on emails, the police “became lovely again”.
They called him up, updated him on the case and informed him when they finally apprehended the blackmailer.
Charley was not the only victim, it turned out.
The man had attempted to blackmail at least five other men.
In August 2019, Croydon predator Patryk Hrymak, 27 at the time, was jailed for more than two years for his blackmail attempts.
As well as Charley, victims included an auditor, an IT boss, a university admissions officer, and several student nurses. Not all of them had come out to their friends and families, adding additional terror to their experiences.
In his victim statement, Charley said the incident made him feel less safe. He explained: “I’ve been using the internet to meet other men for well over a decade and I have always considered the internet an important medium for LGBT young people like myself to meet each other.
“It made me sad and unnerved to have been the victim of someone who has set out to make online LGBT platforms a less safe space...the thing about this ordeal that leaves me angriest, most upset and most afraid is that there are still people out there who believe they can make gay men live a 1950s life of fear and shame and I shouldn’t be made to feel like that.”
During sentencing, Judge Deborah Charles addressed Mr Hrymak directly, saying: “As a man who says he was bullied over his sexuality as a youth, you were well placed to appreciate the consequences of gay men being ‘outed’ when it was not something they wanted to do,” Mail Online reported.
Charley is adamant that despite the disturbing experience, it cannot scare him from being liberated online. As dating and hook-up apps grow more popular, he argues the Met Police and the tech firms themselves will need to step up their safeguarding.
Grindr has been approached by the M.E.N for a comment.
