Career choice is personal to everybody, and nobody should be undermined for what they do for a living. But sometimes, if someone refers to your job and you feel like it undermines your day-to-day tasks, it may make you a little bit mad.
One woman took to Reddit's 'Am I the a**hole' forum to ask users whether she was in the wrong for walking out of an event after she felt her fiancé undermined her job, calling her a 'bookkeeper', rather than 'an accountant, a graduate with a double major, and a successful business owner', which she felt she had worked really hard to achieve, explaining the steps she had to take to get where she was today.
She wrote: "I (F45) have a Fiancé (M55) who is a retired military officer. I own a successful company I started seven years ago and have a small staff of 25. I worked my way through college, paying as I went. Therefore, I graduated in my early 30s with a double major in Accounting and Business Management. I am very proud of that."
The original poster then went on to explain that she admits it took her a little longer to graduate, but she was 'proud' regardless.
She continued: "I worked as an Accountant for some large corporations, as well as programming and IT. I started my company doing similar support to large and small companies alike. I have a wonderful staff.
"I manage the contracts, kick-off meetings, sales, and Consulting staff. I also do some of the consulting and most of the sales/contracts. My sister is my office manager, and I am blessed in so many ways to have her.
"I was dating my now fiancé before I started my company, and we recently got engaged. Everything seemed to be perfect, except he keeps introducing me as a bookkeeper. No disrespect intended to them or the profession. My issue is that I have worked hard to get where I am. I am an accountant, a graduate with a double major, and a successful business owner.
"He could pick almost any other "title" to introduce me as, but he chooses "bookkeeper". I have asked him many, many, many times in private to stop calling me a bookkeeper as it implies to my clients and business associates that he doesn't respect me or what I have accomplished.
"He said he doesn't see the big deal or the difference and continues to do so. I recently pulled him aside and asked him to just introduce me as a consultant at the event we were going to. While there we were talking to a prospective client (for my company) and he says, "she has come a long way for a bookkeeper".
"I know my face had a full blush at that, excused myself and walked away. We had both driven there, so I got in my car and went home. (We both own our own townhomes). I sent him a text to let him know I was leaving and would talk to him later.
"He thinks I am overreacting. My family thinks he is a controlling a** that doesn't respect me or women. I'm not sure what to think now. He seemed so supportive when we are together, but not when we are around other people. He tends to treat me like a subordinate, a nice kid, playing with the adults. He does talk down to me in front of my family, but I always assumed he was 'joking' badly. So am I the a**hole for leaving and overreacting?"
People were also annoyed that the woman was being undermined by the man that supposedly loves her, offering advice about how they'd deal with it.
One wrote: "Because I'm snarky, if I were the original poster, I'd make a point to call him by a rank several ranks below his actual final rank and say I didn't see the big deal."
Another fumed: "He doesn’t call her by the right title because he lacks respect."
Someone else raged: "I would enjoy correcting him publicly and look at the people and say 'it's so funny that he does that, I’m actually an accountant and consultant, I've told him he sounds insecure when he minimises my title but he keeps doing it'. Make it awkward."
What would you do in this situation? Let us know in the comments.
