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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Philippa Perry

I’ve totally run out of patience with my chaotic husband

Highway signagedirectional, highway, signage
A new direction: ‘I can see two different ways of looking at your situation.’ Photograph: Grant Faint/Getty Images

The question I have been married for 18 years to a man I now consider difficult. Over the past few years, I’ve realised he has serious issues, particularly severe OCD that has left him barely functioning. He refuses help, citing concerns it might affect future emigration plans, despite being unable to leave the house. I spent years trying to support and help him recover.

He is stubborn, driven by pride, and a year ago insisted on emigrating, believing it would solve his problems. I resisted, fearing instability with small children and his unresolved issues. His failure to create a concrete plan has left emigration a constant tension in our lives. He accuses me of being risk-averse, while I feel I can’t trust his leadership.

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